Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure
by ShakespeareHemmingway
Summary: Garfield leads Shepherd and crew to save galaxy! Now updated with Chapter 18! Assault on the enemy base!
1. Chapter 1

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Chapter 1

Commander Shepherd was talking to Allusive Man in the Normany spaceship about important missions.

"Commander Shepherd you need to fight the collectors and save humanity." Said the Allusive Man with conversion.

"I will do my mission but it is difficult and perilful." Said Commander Shepherd with hesitation.

"Yes you do not have the manliness do this mission alone, so I have defrosted the ultimate man, Garfield, from cryogenic slumber to lead you to victory." Said The Allusive Man with pride as he pointed to a mysterious figure.

Garfield entered the room with a manly strut ready to take on supernovas.

"The only thing I hate more than racists is collectors, I am going to slam them into outer hemispheres." Said Garfield, head held high and fist pumped with justice.

"I must first examine the crew to see if we are ready for space battle" Said Garfield with knowledge.

Garfield marched down the plank of the ship examining his crew with intentions.

"Greetings Garfield I am Miranda I am your first officer, I am here to help you fight collectors." Said Miranda checking out Garfield muscles.

"Hey there sweet bumps I would like to get into your collectors." Said Garfield with flirting.

"Not now Garfield we have important mission ahead." Said Miranda face blushing with rainbow colors.

"Ok, sexyface will you at least make me nice lasagna meal?" Said Garfield with hunger in his heart.

"Even though I am woman, I do not cook, you will have to go to mess hall" Said Miranda with regretfulness.

Garfield stomred into mess hall in search of lasagna nutrition.

"Chef I will have lasagna sandwhich save the ice." Ordered Garfield to the Mess sergeant.

"I am sorry Garfield Lasagna is rare galactic delicacy, it is only on the citadel." Said the Mess sergeant with deep sorrow.

"What is this madness?!?!." bombasted Garfield with appalling shock. "Galaxy is at stake and there is not even lasagna for nutrition?! Head to Citadel at once!" Ordered Garfield with righteousness.

The Normany sped to the Citadel at highway speeds. When it approached the Citadel the brakes were slammed so it could park. Garfield then entered the citadel with Miranda to search for Lasagna.

"The Citadel council might know where there is Lasagna." Said Miranda to Garfield in a serious tone.

"Then we will go there and demand satisfaction." Said Garfield with urgency.

Garfield and Miranda hurried to the Citadel Council and bust in interrupting a meeting.

"This is galactic emergency, me and my crew need lasagna delivered at faster than light speeds to us!" declared Garfield with invigoration.

"I am sorry Garfield, Blue Suns Mercenaries stole all of the lasagna." Said the Council with worry.

"I will break their bones with fists of fury!" raged Garfield to the cosmos.

"They are outside preparing to take the lasagna to headquarters, maybe you can catch them." Said the councilman truthfully.

On hearing this Garfield stormed out with purposed and headed to the docks like a cat greased with lightning.

"Look Garfield! There they are taking the Lasagna!" Cried out Miranda in helplessness.

"Do not cry woman I will get the Lasagna." Declared Garfield with Manly determination.

Garfield approached the menacing mercenaries and glared at them with eyes of retribution.

"Halt villains surrender your lasagna or face doom!" Roared Garfield with fiery rage.

"Haha Garfield! The collectors hired us to steal this lasagna. Your stomach will be empty forever!" Said the Blue suns leader.

"Fool! I will pry that lasagna from your cold dead fingers!" Exclaimed Garfield with booming voice as he launched into furious attack.

"Get him and defend lasagna with mind body and stomach!" Said Blue Suns Leader to his henchmens.

The henchmens fired at Garfield with raging guns but Garfield did a cartwheel through them splitting them in two. Another henchmen tried to fire Garfield but Garfield backflipped in back of him and broke his neck with velocity.

"It is just you and me, Blue Suns Leader!" Said Garfield to the Blue Suns Leader with intimidation.

"Please show me mercy Garfield, I only stole Lasagna for money." Begged the Blue Suns Leader.

"I am the Garbage man and it is Garbage day!" Said Garfield with slick style as he grabbed the Blue Suns Leader and threw him in a garbage compactor. With all Blue Suns gone, Garfield took the Lasagna back with him to the Normany, and was called by the Allusive man.

"Good work Garfield, now the crew has lasagna to fuel war efforts against collectors." Said the Allusive Man with admiration of Garfield.

"All in days work." Said Garfield casually as he walked out. As Garfield walked down the hallway he noticed Miranda approaching him.

"Garfield you fought with sexiness today, I would like to see you in your quarters later tonight." Said Miranda dreamily.

Sure thing honey sacks, I will look forward to our meeting." Garfield said with romance.

Later that night in the Captains cabin, Garfield put his "Best love songs from the 70s, 80s and 90s" CD in his Cd player to put the mood on romance. Miranda walked in with sexiness and romance on her mind.

"Garfield you are like man I never met before, you make me wild like a hog on the hunt, yet I do not know if it is right." Said Miranda with concern.

"What is the matter Miss Miranda, are you scared?" Asked Garfield sassily.

"I am worried you are too much man for me to handle." Said Miranda with honesty.

"Do not worry it will be gentle, like Chef putting Lasagna in the oven." Said Garfield reassuredly.

"Then Garfield let us make loving until the sun comes up." Said Miranda with lust in her eyes and face.

With these words Garfield and Miranda embraced and made loving all night long with energy of a thousand galaxies.

To be continued….


	2. Chapter 2

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 2

It was a bright sunny morning on the Normany, and Garfield was waking up in bed with Miranda after night of love makings.

"Garfield will you please stay longer." Whined Miranda.

"No Saucy lips, I must go do morning exercises to stay fit." Said Garfield with athletics.

Garfield entered the weight room and began lifting 500 pound dumbbells in each hand for easy warm up.

"These are womens weights, I wish Allusive man would give me real weights for manly exercise." Said Garfield with objection.

As Garfield was lifting his weights, EDI the ships computer spoke to Garfield with urgency.

"Garfield we are having reports of new team member for you to recruit. It is Tali the Quarian. She is in flotilla investigating geth.

"Than it is time for galactic rescue! Put Rocket boosters on turbo!" Said Garfield eyes blazing with courageousness.

Garfield rushed to bridge of ship to gather his teammates. Miranda approached with Grunt the Krogan.

"Hello Garfield, I am Grunt the team krogan and I will be helping you with mission." Said Grunt the Krogan with admiration of Garfields warriorness.

"I am glad to have you on team Krogan man, now we will go going to gather Tali, so get your gears into rear!" Said Garfield in a demanding tone.

Garfield and crew landed on the flotilla and was readying disembarking when they saw Quarian school children picking on quarian classmate with glasses.

"Haha you have glasses." Jeered the school children.

"Nooo it is not my fault I have eyes, leave me be." Said the Quarian.

Garfield seeing this bullying, was enraged with anger.

"Be gone you childhood bullies!" Cried out Garfield as be back handed the children into unconsciousness.

"Thank you Garfield from saving me from the bullies." Said the Quarian with glasses with gratitude.

"No problem poor crippled child, will you tell me where Tali the Quarian is?" Said Garfield with calm demeanor.

"You had better ask the admirals, they are at the admiralty board." Said the Quarian with glasses, worriedly.

With this Garfield and crew rushed to the Admiralty board with speed of rampaging wolf pack. Admiralty board was in a meeting when Garfield interrupted with great urgency.

"Where is Tali the Quarian?! I need her for my team to stop collectors!" shouted Garfield over their babblings.

"Tali is on the Alarei ship investigating geth. Geth took control of ship and she is to blame!" Said one Admiral.

"She is treason!" Said another Admiral with contempt.

"If you do not quiet yourself I will treason you!!!!" roared Garfield with indignations fury.

"Tali is on trial and trying to find evidence of innocence, if you want to find her to go Alarei ship" Said another admiral.

"Very well I will find Tali the Quarian and prove innocence like world class lawyer!" Said Garfield with law and order.

Garfield and crew boarded the Alarei and did detective sleuthing to find tali. During their search they encountered Geth.

"Stop Garfield!" Shouted one of the Geths with evil. The Geth approached Garfield with angry walk.

"You may be manly Garfield but I am a metal man, you stand no chance." Said the Geth intimidatingly.

After taunting Garfield, the Geth reared its arm and swung at Garfield hitting him in the stomach, but his metal fist shattered on Garfields abs of steel.

"You may be a metal man but I am MAN OF IRON!!" roared Garfield with triumph as he tore the Geths head off and threw it at the other Geth destroying them.

After battle Garfield and crew marched and continued their search. In one hall they heard loud noises of blasting and rushed in rescue mode. There they saw Tali pinned by Giant Geth Bot!

"Help me Garfield I am trapped by Giant Geth Bot!" Cried out Tali the Quarian as she fought for her life.

"I am coming to full force rescue!" Declared Garfield with heroism.

"No, Garfield you must not go there is no cover." Said Miranda with concern.

"MY FISTS WILL BE THE COVER!!" Shouted Garfield with battlecry as he charged the Giant Geth Bot.

The Giant Geth Bot launched rockets with fury at Garfield but Garfield dodged them like stealthy snake as he approached the Giant Geth Bot.

"Hoho Garfield! I am big and you are small! Prepare to lose!" Said the Giant Geth Bot with smug sensation.

"You are big like pregnant woman!!!" Cried out Garfield with manliness as he picked up the Giant Geth Bot and threw it out into outer space.

"Nooo I am in space!" Cried the Giant Geth Bot in robotic pain as it flew through space.

"Thank you Garfield for speedy rescue but I must go find my father and proof my innocence." Said Tali the Quarian.

"Then we will go with rescue in mind!" Cried out Garfield.

In the next hallway they saw an injured Quarian, it was Talis father! They rush forward with urgency.

"Daddy we have come to save you." Said Tali with crying.

"It is too late I am injured, but I have terrible secret to tell you, I am really Geth. So sorry." Said Talis father with regret.

"NOOOOOOOO." Screamed Tali in despair rage.

"If you are Geth I must kill you." Said Garfield with purpose.

"Yes Garfield you must end me for my crimes." Said Talis father looking at the stars.

Garfield pulled out his Desert Eagle and shot Talis father several times all over.

"Thank you for killing me Garfield." Said Talis Father as he died.

"We must go back to fleet and prove your innocence." Said Garfield looking at Tali with cat eyes.

"Ok, please don't tell admirals my father was a geth it is very embarrassing." Said Tali with weeping heart.

Garfield and crew returned to Flotilla for trial where Garfield stood as Talis high powered Washington lawyer.

"Where is proof of talis innocence, it is obvious she is guilty, she will be banished." Said a stupid admiral with moron words.

"If you do not find Tali innocent I will sink this ship." Said Garfield, aiming a rocket launcher at the ships engine.

Admirals look at each other with discussion, and then came to a solution.

"It is clear that Tali is 100 percent innocent, thank you Garfield for your perfect defense, you are now an honorary Quarian." Said all of the admirals simultaneously.

After much praise was given for Garfields bravery and legal abilities, Garfield and crew returned to the Normany. Garfield decided to perform check up on Tali to see how she was doing, and went down to engine room for discussions.

"Here Tali I brought special lasagna soup for you to enjoy." Said Garfield caringly.

"Thank you Garfield for all your help, in honor of you I will change my name to Tali Vas Garfield." Said Tali with deep Gratitude and loving.

"No problem baby pants." Said Garfield with flirting.

Tali looked into Garfield eyes with deepness of space and spoke with soft loving. As she spoke she used her Omni-tool to play Whitesnake power ballads to set the mood.

"I have been alone my life until now, but I finally found someone who understands me." Said Tali with romantic intentions.

"No problem I find your suit very sexy." Said Garfield with wink and nod.

"Garfield you complete me, please be mine." Said Tali embracing Garfield.

"I will steer my starship into your black hole." Said Garfield with deep sexy voice.

They embraced and made lovings in the engine room all night long to the rhythms of roaring engine and rockin music.

To be continued….


	3. Chapter 3

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 3

Garfield was meditating on top of roof of Normany when EDI interrupted him with news.

"Garfield Grunt the Team Krogan wants to see you." Said EDI with voice.

"Very well I will see him in exercise room". Said Garfield.

Garfield entered the exercise room and began running to rockin workout music that reminded him of the highschool years.

"Now this is taking my back." Said Garfield with nostalgia.

While Garfield was reminiscing of glory days of football and girls, Grunt walked in and approached Garfield with earnest.

"Garfield, I am having trouble I am feeling anger and angst." Said Grunt with angsty face.

"It is ok my friend you are going through the puberty." Said Garfield with biology.

"I feel all new things that are new." Said Grunt the Krogan.

"It is ok let us have friendly bicycle race that will help work out hormones." Said Garfield with physicality.

Garfield and Grunt then had a friendly bicycle race around the Normany to work off stress and Hormones. Garfield came in first by large lead but Grunt did not mind to lose to such man power.

"You are too much man for me Garfield." Said Grunt with perspiration.

"It is ok, but do you feel better." Said Garfield with concern.

"No I am afraid I think we will need to be going to Krogan home world to ask Krogan elders." Said Grunt the Krogan with tantrum.

"Very well we will go and see elders and have you cured. Put the pedal to medal and blaze us to Krogan home world!" Roared Garfield with orders.

The Normany sped to Tuchunka the home of Krogan galaxy over in order to find solution to grunts riddle of adolescence. When they arrived on Tuchunka Garfield and crew waltzed out to surroundings.

"Where is Krogan leader?!?!" Cried out Garfield to the heavens. On hearing Garfields call a Krogan approached Garfield.

"The Krogan leader is over there." Pointed the Krogan.

"Thank you krogan." Said Garfield with gratitude as he walked off. As Garfield walked he saw a Krogan guarding a door and approached him.

"Where is this lead?" Asked Garfield with curiousness.

"This is where krogan females are. No aliens are allowed to see females not even Garfield." Said Krogan with warning air.

"I SEE ALL FEMALES." Declared Garfield with righteous roaring as he head butted the krogan into the ground. After the stupid krogan was head butted, Garfield lunged into female camp where he made sweet lovings to all Krogan females for many hours. After his lovefest Garfield went back to the male camp to get back to business.

"There is the Krogan leader." Said Grunt, pointing to the Krogan leader.

Garfield strutted up to the Krogan leader like a hotshot cowboy and stared into his eyes with resolute.

"What is wrong with my Krogan?!" Demanded Garfield, pointing towards Grunt.

"Your Krogan is in puberty he needs to go through the rite. You must go see the Shaman." Said the Krogan leader.

"I respect culture I will do the rites." Said Garfield with civil rights. With this said Garfield and Grunt went to the Shaman who was doing a shaman dance.

"Halt shaman I want none your foolery." Said Garfield with staring eyes.

"I am doing cultural ritual, respect our heritage." Said the Shaman.

"I respect three things, Strength, justice, America and Lasagna." Said Garfield with heart.

"Very good Garfield you are manly enough for the rite. You must go ahead into the arena and survive all challenges." Said the Shaman with admiration.

Garfield and Grunt went into an area ready for heated challenges and challenging battles.

"Look Garfield there are wolves." Said Grunt with concern.

"I never met a wolf I did not like to slam." Said Garfield wittily as he took the wolves and slammed them one on one like lightweight footballs.

After shattering wolves like glass, Garfield and Grunt heard loud earthquake sound. It was the Thrasher Maw!

"Haha Garfield I see you beaten my wolves but can you best me with mighty muscle?" Challenged the Thrasher Maw with high self esteem.

"I take on all!" Roared Garfield with a bellyful of courage.

"We will see who is true manliness!" Said the Thrasher Maw as he faced down Garfield in showdown stance.

Garfield and thrasher maw circled each other with battlefield legs eyeing each other like doves ready for combats. Suddenly the Thrasher Maw pulled out his flamerthrower and began spraying flames of ambition at Garfield.

"Haha Garfield the Tempreature is rising in celsius, I hope you are not getting too hot for your fur!" Mocked the Thrasher maw with defiant grin.

"Ahggaaga!" Cried out Garfield as his fur singed in hotness.

"You will be cat stew on my turkey dinner!" roared the Thrasher Maw with evil snickers.

"Here have knuckle sandwhich instead but do not be choking on the bone!" Said Garfield with cool style as he jumped at the Thrasher Maw and punched him with the force of runaway speed train.

"Nooo why meeee." Cried the Thrasher Maw as he was punched in two with manly force.

After beating the evil Thrasher Maw with mind and body, Garfield and Grunt returned to Krogan camp to receive praise.

"Congratulations Garfield you beat the Thrasher Maw, you are now honorary king of the Krogan." Said the Krogan leader.

"Yes thank you Garfield, now I am no longer in puberty and can control my emotions." Said Grunt the team Krogan.

"It is no problem I needed good work out." Said Garfield with thumbs up.

With these wise words Garfield and crew returned to Normany. Garfield however had to head to med lab for check ups since he was burned.

"Your fur is burned but you should be ok." Said Dr. Chackwas with relief.

"Are you sure, would like closer examination?" Said Garfield with sass.

"Yes maybe a more indepth check up is needed." Said Dr. Chackwas with flirty smile.

"Perhaps you need a check up, doctor, maybe you need to take off your clothes just in case there are lice in your pants." Said Garfield with romance.

"Oh Garfield you make me feel like school girl in love." Said Dr. Chackwas with love sick eyes.

"Hey I like professionals and you are one professional babe." Said Garfield with glimmer in the eyes.

"Garfield I have been seeing you from the distance but too afraid to speak, but I need you now in the moment of danger. Will you have me?" Said Dr. Chackwas with heartfelt love.

"Yes my medical equipment is ready right now." Said Garfield slyly as they embraced and made lovings on the lab tables all night long with medical precision.

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 4

It was a warm sunny morning on the Normany, full of bloomring rose flowers and violet plants. Garfield was playing intense games of B-ball with Garrus in the B-ball arena. A boom box was playing cool hip hop beats while they were playing. Garfield and Garrus were both scoring slam dunks and making points. Garfield had the ball was spinning it on his finger like hurricane. Garrus was trying to block the ball with his legs. Garfield then threw the ball from across the field scoring a basket with mighty swoosh and winning the game.

"Wow Garfield that is one kind of shot." Said Garrus with awe.

"It was nothing, I am working up sweat though, let us hit the showers." Said Garfield with sweaty confidence.

In the locker room Garrus snapped Garfield's behind with his towel for comedy.

"Haha Garrus you are such comedian." Said Garfield with jolly laughter.

"Towels are fierce weapons for proud warriors." Said Garrus jokingly.

"Garfield this is EDI we have new reports of crew member for you, Jack the criminal." Said EDI with informative voice.

"Where is this criminal?" Said Garfield with question.

"Jack is in the Blue Suns flying prison Purgatory." Said EDI.

"I do not like Blue Suns they are unmanly bad doers." Said Garfield with distrust.

"It is ok they promised not to do bad." Said EDI with consolation.

"Very well set course for Purgatory at Maximum Speed, do not stop for man woman or child." Said Garfield, finger pointing in the air.

The Normany sped for Purgatory with galactic urgency, not stopping for supernovas or black holes. At arriving at Purgatory Garfield landed on roof and entered flying prison.

"Greeting Garfield I am Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory I am here to guide you to Jack." Said the Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory.

"Better not try to be funny or I will silence humor forever." Said Garfield with serious tone.

"I promise to be good and right citizen." Said Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory.

The Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory led Garfield to a Cell which had Jack in it.

"Hello Garfield, I am Jack the criminal, I am bad person." Said Jack.

"You are girl yet not girly." Said Garfield with wonder.

"I am tough scrappy female with troubled past." Said Jack.

"Come let us go back to Normany." Said Garfield in understanding tone.

"No so fast Garfield you are my prison now." Said Evil blue Suns Leader of Purgatory as he surrounded Garfield and Jack with many Blue Suns Soldiers.

"WHAT?!?!" Said Garfield with uproarious roar.

"I am taking you in prison for money I will be rich." Said Blue Suns Leaders with lusty greed.

"You Blue Suns are Yellow like dogs, first you take my Lasagna now you take my freedom, no more I will be sending you to a early Hell morning!!" Shouted Garfield with Manly vocal chords.

"It is too late Garfield you are surrounded, you are mine forever!" Said Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory.

"Humph, fool you are the one in prison of greed." Said Garfield with philosophy. Garfield then put his fingers in the mouth and blew his whistle with fury. Garfields custom Harley Davidson motorcycle with Lasagna headlights then crashed through the ceiling jamming cool triumphant music as it came. Garfield then hopped on the motorcycle and put on his sunglasses because the sun always shines on Garfield even in spaceships.

"Time for joyriding." Said Garfield chilly as he took out a lasagna flavored cigarette and put it in his mouth. Garfield put his motorcycle on hyperspeed and blazed through the Blue Suns mercenaries.

"Curses you Garfield!" Said the Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory as he shook his fist in the air.

"I have appetites for violence and it is almost dinner time." Said Garfield as he puffed on his lasagna flavored cigarette.

"Chew on this Garfield!" Said Blue Suns leader as he chucked grenade at Garfield with desperation.

"You should try some of your own cookings before serving." Said Garfield Cooley as he shot the grenade with his Desert Eagle back at the Blue suns Leader of Purgatory who caught it in his mouth.

"ARGHARFIELD." Screamed the Blue Suns Leader of Purgatory as he exploded.

"Looks like it blew up in your stomach." Said Garfield slyly as he walked away.

"Garfield we must leave now." Said Jack the criminal.

"No problem babe, hop on my Harley." Said Garfield. Jack hopped on the back of his motorcycle gripping Garfields waste. Garfield and Jack rode out of Purgatory with speed of unicorns.

"Here is present to remember me by." Said Garfield as he look back the ship and tossed his lasagna flavored cigarette at the Purgatory causing it to explode.

Garfield and Jack landed back in the Normany where Garrus and crew were waiting.

"Good work Garfield you saved the day again." Said Garrus with thumbs up.

"It was easy like lasagna cake." Said Garfield with relaxed sigh.

"Garfield you saved my life but I still don't like you because I am bad." Said Jack the criminal.

"Hoho, Garfield looks like she will not fall for your charms." Said Garrus jokingly.

"Want to bet? I can make lady out of her yet." Said Garfield with knowingness.

"Ok, Garfield I bet you 500 dollars of lasagna you cannot make her into proper lady." Said Garrus with smirk.

"You are on bone head!" Said Garfield with handshake. Garfield then walked over to Jack with purpose.

"Jack I am taking you to shopping, and making you into lady." Said Garfield

"Ok, but I am still not likeing you." Said Jack. Garfield and Jack then went to Citadel to go shopping for clothes and makeup and perfume.

"Try on this dress, Jack." Said Garfield as he gave her a short purple sparkly dress.

"Ok Garfield, but I still don't like you" Said Jack as she tried on the dress.

Jack tried on the purple dress as well as matching purse, and perfume with smell of flowers and lasagna.

"Garfield I feel like true woman, thank you." Said Jack with gratitude.

"No problem lets go back to Normany for celebration." Said Garfield.

On returning to the Normany, Garrus saw Jack as true lady and realized he lost the bet.

"Wow she is true lady, I have lost bet, here is your 500 dollars in lasagna, Garfield." Said Garrus with defeat.

"Thank you Garrus I will spend it on pantaloons." Said Garfield with victory. As Garfield took his prize money he went to the captains cabin where he saw Jack was waiting for him.

"Garfield you are like man like no other, I did not think love was possible until now." Said Jack with love in her eyes.

"You are special lady now that you have nice dress and are pretty to look at." Said Garfield with understanding voice.

"Yes Garfield thank you for making me worthwhile, let me thank you with special gift." Said Jack with flirtations.

"Sure think sexy babe, let me show you my Jack." Said Garfield with a wink and nod.

"Let me warn you, I am rough and tough rebel." Said Jack with sass.

"I will rebel in your pants." Said Garfield with romance. Garfield and Jack then embrace and made sweet lovings all day and all night until they broke dawn.

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 5

It was weekday mornings when Garfield was busy playing spin the bottles with Miranda Tali and Jack. It was Mirandas turn and she spun the bottle and it landed on Tali.

"Miranda you have to kiss Tali it is the rules of the game" Said Garfield Knowingly.

"But Garfield I do not want to she is a girl." Said Miranda with protesting.

"That is an order from your captain." Said Garfield with command.

"Ok" said Miranda and Tali with Reluctance as they went close to eachothers lips for kissing. Miranda and Tali kissed for a long time with deepness. They heard their hearts beating deeply and everyone enjoyed it.

"Very good." Said Garfield with approving. "Now you must take your clothes off and kiss eachother more by order of the captain." Commanded Garfield with sternness.

"Ok." Said Miranda and Tali as they took off their clothes to reveal their nakedness. They then kissed even more and grasped each other because of the rules. Miranda and Tali grabbed eahcothers naked bodies, their hearts beating like one, as they kissed with mouth and tounges while Garfield watched and nodded with approving. However EDI interrupted the making out with important message.

"Garfield you are needed, Admiral Anderson needs to be seeing you." Said EDI with urgency.

"Very well I will be being there in a jiffy." Said Garfield as he took some last photos of Miranda and Tali kissing for personal collection. Garfield then headed for Bridge with liquid speed. When Garfield reached Bridge he spoke to Admiral Anderson on monitors.

"Garfield this is Admiral Anderson, America needs your help Space Pirates are kidnapping the statue of liberty and are planning to take it to space please help." Said Admiral Anderson in panic.

"Do not worry I am true American patriot I will save the statue of liberty." Said Garfield head held high with flag waving behind.

"Thank you Garfield we salute you. You are true American hero." Said Admiral Anderson with gratitude.

"Joker take spaceship to Earth for liberty rescue!" Commanded Garfield at top of lounges.

With these words normany sped to earth with restless abandoning crashing through asteroids and planets to save liberty. When Normany arrived at earth Garfield disembarked and headed for statue of liberty which was being held hostage.

"Garrus come with me to save statue of Liberty, ladies stay here and keep practicing your kissing." Said Garfield with demands. Garfield and Garrus then went to statue of liberty with agile limbness. When reaching the Statue of Liberty the climbed with suction cup hands like super spies.

"Garfield this makes me feel like fly on a swatter." Said Garrus with feeling.

"I Know your feeling Said Garfield." Knowing the feelings.

When Garfield and Garrus reached the top they saw the space pirates fighting a woman. It was Ashley Williams! But she was surrounded and overmatched.

"I Wish a man would help me." Said Ashley Williams.

"No need for fears! I Will stop filthy Piracy!" Shouted Garfield as he and Garrus leaped up the top of the Statue of Liberty.

"Oh no it is Garfield!" Said the Space Pirates with unison.

"Get them! They will not stop our plans to steal statue of liberty!" Said the Space Pirate captain.

Space Pirate henchmen tried to fight Garfield with martial arts but Garfield used his ninjitsu to dispose them, breaking their bones and snapping their legs like yogurt.

"Tie to go to space Jail space Pirate!" Said Garfield to the Space Pirate Captain.

"No I will steal statue of liberty and use it to spread liberty to the galaxy!" Said the Space Pirate Captain with evil.

"NO liberty only belongs in America." Said Garfield with patriotism.

"Die YOU Garfield!." Said the Space Pirate Captain as he took out his musket laser blaster to shoot Garfield.

Time to Feel power of red white and blue!" Said Garfield as he took out an American flag and impaled stupid space pirate with it. "America is number one!" Said Garfield with patriotism.

"Thank you Garfield you saved me and America." Said Ashley Williams with gratitude.

"It is no problem, come back to Normany with me." Said Garfield. With this aid they all went back to the Normany. When reaching the Normany everyone celebrated with Champaigned and cake. During the celebrations Garfield approached Ashley Williams.

"Ashley come with me to the Cabin." Said Garfield with intent.

"Ok.' Said Ahsley Williams

When reaching the Cabin Garfield turned on smooth sexy jazz music and also turned on his hot tub. He then took off his clothes and hopped in.

"Ashley take off your clothes and come in the hot tub with me." Said Garfield with nodding head.

"I do not know if I feel comfortable." Said Ashley Williams with nervousness.

"THAT IS A CAPTAINS ORDER." Said Garfield with command.

"Ok." Said Ashley Williams taking off her clothes and hopping into the hot tub with Garfield.

Garfield then began to touching her all over with firm and gentle hands. "Let us be having sex all night."

"Please touch me more Garfield." Said Ahsley Williams as squeezed Garfields Manly Arms.

"I will eat you in and out like lasagna breakfast." Said Garfield eyes hungry for love.

Garfield and Ashley Williams then had sexual relations all night in hot sub while sexy smooth jazz played in the background.

To be continued…


	6. Chapter 6

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 6

It was a sunfilled day on the Normany when Garfield was helping Mordin Solus make science with rats for human goodness. Garfield mixed chemicals and poured them on rat turning it into a gerbil.

"Garfield you did it you made scientific discovery you are true science genius." Said Mordin Solus with admiration.

"Yes I have phd in science. Now if only I can turn rats into lovely ladies for love makings." Said Garfield with thought.

"That is interesting theory Garfield. We should work on it for good of all." Said Mordin Solus with agreement.

"Garfield this is EDI, Allusive man has someone new for you to be looking for." Interrupted EDI with urgencies.

"Who is the one needing finding. " Said Garfield as he looked thoughtfully into chemical bottle.

"It is Asari Samara the Justicar. She is on Omega looking for criminals to punish." Said EDI.

"Good that is the kind of woman I can be into." Said Garfield with clever smile. "Time to head for Omega. Time for blast off!" Yelled Garfield to crew.

The Normany sped off to Omega with speed of roaring waterfall in the middle of quiet creeks. On arriving Garfield hopped out to examine surroundings and find Samara. When searching Garfield saw a rich person beating a hobo with his cane.

"Take this stupid hobo you do not have class like me." Said rich person.

Garfield saw the mistreatment and was bursting with outrage.

"Learn respect for the hobos you million dollar fool!" Roared Garfield as he broke the cane over the rich persons head.

"Thank you Garfield I am wise hobo filled with lore ask me your heart desires." Said the hobo with wisdom.

"I need to find asari Samara. It is of Galactic importance." Said Garfield with importance.

"I do not know where she is but Aria will she is Asari and knows where all Asari are. She is in club over there with the hot techno beats." Said the hobo with dance rhythms.

"Looks like it's time to party." Said Garfield as he prepared to suit for club. Garfield put on his club tux and golden cufflinks and expensive watch given to him by Jon Arbuckle. He then put on his Gold Lasagna chain and cool shades to top off party outfit. Garfield strutted in the club like the man, pushing dancers out of his way. He strutted up the counter to the bartender for information.

"Where is Aria?" Asked Garfield with attitude.

"I can not tell you that it is against the rules." Said the bartender with defiance. In response Garfield grabbed the bartenders head and slammed it on the counter with force of concussions.

"WHERE IS ARIA." Demanded Garfield again with volcanic fury.

"She is over there." Said the bartender, pointing to Aria.

"Thank you." Said Garfield as he took the bartender and slid him down the counter sending him crashing into glasses. After thanking the bartender Garfield waltzed up to Aria with macho attitude. Arias guards were too intimidated by Garfield's manliness to stop him and cowered like small baby children.

"Aria give me the information I need to know where Samara is." Demanded Garfield with glaring eyes.

"Alright Garfield I will tell you but there is something I want first." Said Aria with hinting smile.

"You are naughty woman, I like that." Said Garfield with sass.

"You are the manliest man I ever saw in the Galaxy I must have your body." Said Aria with seduction.

"Very well I will pleasure you then you must give me information." Said Garfield with business.

"Yes please me all night long." Said Aria as she tore Garfields shirt open and grabbed his manly chest. Aria then dragged Garfield to her couch where they made a love embrace bringing eachother sexual pleasure. Aria licked Garfield body all over while Garfield gave her ultimate lovings causing her to shout and scream in joy. "Give me your best shot!" Screamed Aria in daring way.

"Feel the maximal pleasure of Garfield power!" Yelled Garfield in return giving her lovings of highest quality.

"Garfield you are sending me to other galaxies!" screamed Aria with roaring love. After several hours of love making, Aria was finally exhausted and told Garfield the information. "Samara is in alleyways looking for criminal fiend." Said Aria while laying next to Garfield massaging his feet.

"Thanks chicky baby, next time I am in town I will stop by." Said Garfield with relaxation as he sipped a cup of champagne. After finishing his breakfast in bed that Aria made him Garfield set out on quest to find Samara heading for alleyways. While exploring alleyways Garfield saw many people laying around for no reason not saying or doing anything.

"Why are you not saying or doing anything?" asked Garfield. They did not answer so Garfield continued on the quest. Garfield reached a dead end alleyway when he heard someone.

"Halt I have gun pointed at you!" Said a mysterious voice.

"You better put down arm or else I will take it off." Said Garfield with fearless cool.

"Relax Garfield it is I Samara I have been watching you." Said Samara with mystery.

"Samara you must join my group for galaxy adventure to stop collectors." Responded Garfield with urgency.

"Yes I will join you but first you must help me catch vile criminal." Said Samara with calmness.

"I eat criminals like lasagna omelet for breakfast. Just tell me what to do." Said Garfield with pride.

"We must be careful she is my daughter the Ardat Yakshi witch woman. Her name is Morinth and you must lure her out." Responded Samara with ear in the eye.

"Daughter or no I will give her iron fisted justice." Declared Garfield fist clenched with fiery fury.

"She is in the club VIP room. You must lure her out. Do not worry she will come to you she cannot resist your awesome manliness." Stated Samara with fact.

"No problem she will know my justice, Garfield justice." Said Garfield as he headed to the club. When Garfield reached the VIP room there was a bouncer there preventing entrance for Garfield.

"This is VIP room where is your ticket only important people can come here." Said Stupid bouncer with arrogance.

"Here is my ticket." Said Garfield as he punched out the bouncer with one swing knocking him into unconsciousness. Garfield then made his entry with cool manly style. Garfield saw many people dancing with music so Garfield decided to join in. As Garfield danced many ladies began joining with him and dancing with him.

"You are best dancer in the club Garfield!" Said the ladies.

"Oh you ladies are too kind but I am just amateur." Said Garfield with flirting. After dancing Garfield was approached by a mysterious lady.

"I saw you dancing you are sexiest man in the room." Said the lady with seduction.

"I speak language of dance like language of love." Said Garfield with deep sexy voice.

"My name is Morinth lets go back to my place for some lovings." Said Morinth with sexiness.

"That sounds like my kind of night." Said Garfield with a wink and nod. Garfield followed Mornith back to her apartment for sweet lovings. In the apartment were many strange decorations. Morinth sat by Garfield and began stroking his hair in sexy manners.

"Garfield why do you not relax, I will make you mine and take you to worlds of galactic pleasure." Said Morinth with evil seduction.

"No I think you are the one who is mine prepare for justice." Said Garfield with cool style. Samara then crashed in and attacked Morinth and engaged in fighting. The fight was even match as they locked in struggles.

"Garfield you must help, take her out!" Shouted Samara.

"No kill her! I will join your team to fight collectors!" Yelled out Morinth in desperation. Garfield looked at both of them and smiled clever smile.

"There is only way to decide we must all make lovings, only then will I know." Said Garfield with slyness.

"Ok." Said Samara and Morinth as they stopped fighting and began to take their clothes off for love makings. Samara and Morinth both began stroking Garfield with sexy tenderness. They rubbed against him, rubbing their bodies on his while moaning in pleasure.

"Let's see what you ladies can do." Said Garfield with a smile. Samara and Morinth than began loving eachothers with sweet loving as Garfield watched with approval. All three then embraced for full force love makings shaking the room like earthquakes. Samara and Morinth than lay exhausted with pleasure.

"Garfield you are lover of cosmic power!" Said Morinth with satisfaction.

"Yes you are truly master of love." Said Samara in agreement. Garfield nodded in agreement and then took out his desert eagle and shot Morinth.

"Garfield so you have decided I see." Said Samara.

"I had decided before." Said Garfield with a wink and nod.

"Oh Garfield you are truly clever and brave hero!" Samara whispered with admiration. After justice had been distributed Garfield and Samara returned to the Normany. Garfield went up the Captains cabin for thought when he heard someone enter.

"Hello Garfield I must thank you for help you are bravest hero in the Galaxy." Said Samara with joy.

"No problem justice is what I do." Said Garfield in matter of act way.

"I want to thank you by continuing what we started before." Said Samara rubbing Garfield chest.

"I was holding back before because of duty. Let me now show you true lovings." Whispered Garfield with romance. Garfield dimmed the lights and put on his favorite souls music. Garfield and Samara then embraced in sexual way and made lovings that rocked the ship like meteor showers.

To be continued…


	7. Chapter 7

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 7 Kasumi Thief Caper!

Garfield was in the captains cabin blowing off the steam with his ladies. Jack was sitting on one side and Miranda was on the right and Garfield had his manly arms around them both for intimate affections. Miranda was nibbling Garfield ear with love and adoration. Jack was wearing sexy underwear and Miranda was wearing nothing.

"Garfield your ear is lovely taste like roses and rain in spring weathers." Said Miranda with love.

"Yes my ears taste almost as good as lasagna keep nibbling pussy cat." Said Garfield with raring sexuality. While Garfield was enjoying his ear being nibbled Tali walked in dressed up in skimpy French maid outfit at Garfield requesting.

"I am dressed like you ordered Garfield do you love me Garfield am I loved." Asked Tali with affection.

"Almost first you must dance for me in a sexy way." Said Garfield as he turned on sexy music for Tali to dance to. Tali then began doing a sexy dance with lots of flips and slips and somersaults. The dance ended with Tali pointing at Garfield with seduction.

"I am your woman forever Garfield." Said Tali in singing voice. Garfield nodded in approval and made sexy motion for Tali to join him and the other ladies. However Garfields lovefest was interrupted by EDI with importance.

"Garfield the Allusive man has new recruit for you it is Kasumi the master thief." Said EDI with urgency.

"I do not like thieves I am hero." Said Garfield with heroics.

"It is ok she is good thief like Robin Hood. She can help steal money from the collectors." Said EDI with consolation.

"Very well where will I find womanly thief." Asked Garfield with grudging.

"She is in Citadel waiting for meetings." Said EDI with the answer.

"I will go to bridge with orders, over and out." Ordered Garfield with authority. "Sorry ladies I must get back to work." Said Garfield to the women.

"No Garfield you promised to love me." Said Tali with begging.

"It is ok hot cookies I will be back sooner than a wink. In the meantime practice your lovings with Miranda and Jack." Reassured Garfield. Garfield then walked out to the bridge. Garris saw him and looked on with longing jealously. When Garfield entered the bridge he told Joker orders.

"Joker get to the Citadel for important business." Ordered Garfield with imposing authority.

"Garfield you may be king on the battlefield and in the bedroom but I bet you could not pilot this ship." Challenged Joker with foolishness.

"Step aside I will show you how it is done." Said Garfield as he pushed Joker out of the way and took the steering wheel. Garfield then switched off Jokers girly music which was the Spice Girls and put on the rockin heavy metal he puts on whenever he goes on a cruise.

"This is how men drive." Said Garfield as he put on the acceleration to turbo roaring through solar systems like knife through butter.

"Garfield be careful you will hit a planet!" Cried Joker with panic.

"Shut up and learn how to be a man." Said Garfield as he went even faster. Garfield was about to crash into a planet but then he glared at it and it moved away. After much top notch ace piloting Garfield arrived at the Citadel in one fourth the time Joker would have.

"Garfield you are truly amazing man and the better pilot." Said Joker with admiration.

"I can teach you some moves sometime if you are ready to wear pants." Said Garfield as he slapped jokers back. After joking with Joker Garfield descent to the Citadel for meetings.

"Over here Garfield it is Kasumi come over for secret meeting." Said one of the advertisements with a giant face.

"I hate commercials." Said Garfield as punched the advertisement smashing it through and through.

"Garfield you smashed by commercial." Said Kasumi from above.

"Yes I have no time for technononsense we must go stop collectors." Said Garfield with leadership.

"Indeed but first you must do me favor." Said Kasumi with favor.

"Sure thing." Said Garfield as he grabbed Kasumis breasts with hands.

"No not that." Said Kasumi with blushing.

"Well then what is it?" Said Garfield with disappointed impatience.

"I need to get back stolen chip from Donovan Hock. He killed my partner Keiji to get the secret chip and now I must get it back." Said Kasumi with anxiety.

"Fine I will fine this chip and crack open Hocks head like museum vase. If you need other favor let me know." Said Garfield with a clever chuckle.

"He is on the planet Bekenstien let us go." Said Kasumi with hurry. Garfield and Kasumi then boarded the Normany headed for Berkenstein with swift galactic speed. On the way Kasumi briefed Garfield on the mission.

"Hock is having a party you will sneak in as a party guest. You will go in as a secret alias." Said Kasumi with quick words.

"Alias? I do not need secrets I am man of action." Roared Garfield.

"Please you must it is of importance." Whined Kasumi with crying voice.

"Fine you women must always get your ways and give me headache." Said Garfield with exasperation.

"Very good your alias will be "Johan Lasagnaman" and you will be a mercenary/oil tycoon from the terminus systems." Briefed Kasumi with knowledge.

"I can do this." Said Garfield with calm silence.

"When we are inside we must look for the vault where Donovan Hock keeps art and computer chips." Said Kasumi.

Kasumi and Garfield landed on Bekenstein on Hocks lawn and were getting ready to enter party. Hock was at the entrance greeting guests.

"Hello Mr. Johan I am sorry you cannot enter with the women." Said Hock to Garfield.

Garfield looked at Kasumi and she nodded in agreement. "It is ok I will find more woman inside." Said Garfield with sassy wit. Garfield than walked inside and began chatting with party guests.

"Mr. Lasagnaman come here and talk with us." Said Hock with admiration.

Garfield walked over to Hock with calm speed and sipped his glass.

"Mr. Lasganman you are a Mercenary/oil tycoon what do you think of the oil spill near Jupiter." Asked Hock with curiosity.

"I think oil spills are wrong. They hurt all of the dolphins and birds. If I was there I would crush oil with iron knuckles!" Said Garfield with fist clenched with fiery justice. Everyone stood up and clapped for Garfields speech.

"Excellent Mr. Lasagnaman you are true man." Said Hock with respect.

Garfield then began looking around searching for the vault.

"Where is the vault?" Asked Garfield to a party guest.

"It is over there." Pointed the guest.

"Thank you." Said Garfield with gratitude as he walked to the vault. The vault was very heavily guarded with lasers and beams.

"Garfield this will take some time to break through but I can do it. I need to find passwords and keycodes to hack through barriers." Said Kasumi appearing behind him.

"No I do this MY WAY." Said Garfield with fury as he punched through the vault with his mighty fist breaking it like paper.

"Garfield your fists are force of nature." Said Kasumi with observance.

"No, forces of nature show mercy." Said Garfield as he walked into the vault.

When inside the vault Garfield and Kasumi saw many statues. Garfield went over to one statue of a naked man.

"What is this naked man doing here?" Said Garfield looking at the statue.

"That is Michelangelo's David it is art." Said Kasumi.

"He should have done statues of naked women too." Said Garfield with nodding head.

"Look there is the computer chips" Said Kasumi seeing the computer chip.

"HAHA Garfield and Kasumi I knew it was you." Bellowed an evil voice with cold wind of hate.

"Hock!" Said Kasumi with worry.

"I have set trap for you here now my minions will make you like rocks and be dead in the river!" Said Hock with villainy.

"Send the clowns in and get the parties started!" Roared Garfield.

Many security guards came in and began to approach Garfield and Kasumi with guns pointing, but Garfield calmly strolled forward without care in his mind.

"Hey now guards please do not shoot. I do not fight I am pacifist. See here are my olive branches." Said Garfield as he pulled out two Desert Eagles and began firing at the guards. He hit the guards with eagle accuracy hitting them in the heads and hearts.

"My head!" Cried many guards as Garfield blew them away with lead. All that was left was the security Chief who was a girl.

"You would not shoot ladies would you Garfield?" Begged the security chief.

"No." Said Garfield slyly as he shot her head off twice.

"Garfield we may be able to escape through stealth." Said Kasumi with invisibility.

"Stealth is for handicapped children." Said Garfield as he charged out into combat shooting at more Guards with bullseye marks. After plowing through enemy guards like hungry shark through water Garfield and Kasumi finally reached outside where Donovan Hock was waiting in a helicopter!

"Garfield you are toast in the morning. I have missiles locked on, prepare for explosions!" Taunted Donovan Hock with wickedness.

Donovan Hocks taunting enraged Garfield with anger. Garfield eyes burned with the passion of raging inferno as he stared down Hock. Garfield then leaped into the air and onto Hocks Helicopter like frog. He then tore open the top like can of Lasagna and grabbed Hock by the throat.

"Garfield what are you doing spare me please." Begged Donovan Hock with crying tears.

"I want to see a pig fly so fly Mr. Pig." Said Garfield wittily as he threw Hock out of the helicopter. Garfield then returned to Kasumi who was spellwoven by Garfields charm and fighting abilities.

"Garfield you are warrior like no other." Said Kasumi in astonishment.

"Yes let us return to the Normany our work here is done." Said Garfield with calm humbleness.

Back on the Normany Garfield was relaxing in the Captains quarters and checking his pc for e-mails. One of the e-mails was sent by Tali and was titled "SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU". Garfield opened it up and found lots of naughty pictures Tali took of herself for Garfields pleasure.

"I will save these to my floppy disk." Said Garfield with eager smile. As Garfield was saving naughty pictures he heard someone enter his room.

"Hello Garfield I want to thank you for help." Said Kasumi with gratitude.

"It is no problem pudding lips." Said Garfield with flirtation.

"You are man like no other, you are 100 times more man than Keiji was. At first I was sad but now I am glad he is dead so I can be with you." Said Kasumi with love dove eyes.

"Missions on the battlefield are important but missions in the bedroom are even more important." Said Garfield quietly as he gazed at Kasumi with sexy cat eyes.

"I want to show you super fun time." Said Kasumi as she took off her suit to reveal a sexy nurse outfit.

"Oh yeah I need a checkup come here." Said Garfield with approval.

"Hey I want to party too. You Promised Garfield." Said another voice. It was Tali! She walked into the room dressed up like a sexy Egyptian.

"Ok you can join us Tali. It will be career day in the bedroom." Said Garfield as he took both Kasumi and Tali in his arms. All three of them grabbed and kissed eachother deeply making sweet lovings for many hours until the dawn broke.

To be continued…


	8. Chapter 8

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 8 Collector Cataclysm Mayhem!

Garfield was boxing with Garrus in the gym for exercise. Garrus did a one two hit combo but Garfield took it like man and laughed with spirit.

"Hoho you better hit harder or I will be knocked out with boredom." Taunted Garfield with humor.

"I would like to be seeing you try hitting harder!" Challenged Garrus with energy.

"Ok." Said Garfield as he punched Garrus making his head up like spring and sending him flying hundreds of feet away.

"Garfield you are world champion boxer you punch like angry ox" Complimented Garrus on Garfield punching.

"I won championship trophy back in the days." Said Garfield walking to his seat.

"Here is specially prepared Lasagna with spicy sauce." Said Samara walking in with a plate of Lasagna.

"Thanks toots it is spicy like your bod." Complimented Garfield as he let Miranda massage his muscular back. As Garfield relaxed a hologram came to him for visiting.

"Garfield this is the Allusive man." Said the hologram.

Garfield glanced at the Allusive man with casualness and lit a cigarette.

"What is it Allusive man I am being busy." Said Garfield with chilled relaxation as he opened up a naked ladies magazine for reading pleasure.

"Garfield I am sorry to be bothering but there is important mission. You must go to Horizon colony. Collectors are attacking and you must destroy them with Garfield might." Said Allusive man with urgent request.

"Very well. No one attacks bases when I am on duty. Set Course for Horizon!" Said Garfield with protection.

"Garfield no more of your shoot first ask questions later methods, you are loose cannon." Warned Allusive man with concern.

"I do this my way and my way. Get off my back old man you are soft like sponge." Defied Garfield like cowboy cop.

Normany zoomed through space like a wild chariot on the frozen field of flame. When arriving at horizon Normany halted with screech. Garfield then descended with team to Horizon for investigation.

"Where are the people there is nothing but abandonment." Said Miranda with wondering.

In the distance there was moving. It was Collectors coming for ambush attack and rearing for assault!

"Come you collectors scum its dinner time, First course lead salad." Said Garfield pulling out his Desert Eagles and firing at the collectors and twirling around like manly ballerina.

"HAHA Garfield we will outnumber! Prepare to be alien dissected." Said the collectors as they fired on Garfield with alien lasers.

Garfield turned to the Aliens and scoffed a manly scoff. He then took out two grenades for exploding.

"Here catch you insects." Said Garfield as he tossed the grenades like Olympic thrower. The Grenades exploded on the Collectors making then into pieces and goo.

"Do not be falling apart on me." Said Garfield with clever wit.

Garfield and team continued to search Horizon for humans and clues about Collectors. While searching Garfield came upon wondrous site. It was a female collector! She had large buxom breasts and curvy figure. She was wearing sexy dress with high heels and had luxurious long hair like silk worms.

"Hello there Garfield I was looking forward to meeting you are even manlier than I imagined." Said the female collector.

"Hello foxy mamma." Said Garfield with lips licking like cat on the prowl.

"Why do you not come and sit with me." Said the female collector with seduction.

"You must tell me information about collectors." Said Garfield with interrogation.

"First you must give me what I want and what I want is you." Said the female collector with hand rubbing Garfields chest.

"I will give you more than your full and then some." Said Garfield with sparkle in his eye.

Garfield and the female collector embraced firmly. The female collector the Garfield down and wrapped her hips around him riding him like a bull in the china shop. Garfield thrusted into her with great force giving her rocking pleasure she never felt.

"Oh AH AH OHHHHH." Moaned the female collector as her pleasure glands filled to the maximum.

The female collector and Garfield sat side by side enjoying the moment and smoking cigarettes.

"Now you must tell me about the Collectors." Demanded Garfield with sternness.

"Very well." Said the female collector as she lounged.

"The collectors were once protheans and now they work for reapers." Said the female collector with knowing.

"Of course." Said Garfield with light bulb eureka moment.

"Collectors will collect humanity for reapers evil plans." Said the female collector.

"Not on my watch." Said Garfield as he pulled out his Desert Eagle and shot the female Collector.

"Come we must search more." Said Garfield to his crew.

As Garfield and crew searched they saw something approach them. It was a collector hologram!

"I am the harbinger you will surrender Garfield." Said the Hologram.

"Why you not come out and fight me like a man." Challenged Garfield with clenched fists.

"In due times Garfield. In due times. Now you will pay my piper for your refusals." Said the Harbinger as he summoned a flying collector beetle to fight Garfield. Garfields squad fired on the beetle but it was too strong.

"Its armor is too thick Garfield what will we do?" Cried out Tali.

"Take this Tali." Said Garfield handing her a giant rocket launcher.

"What this will not work." Said Tali confusion.

"Silence woman." Said Garfield as he climbed into the rocket launcher.

"Fire!" Roared Garfield.

"Yes Garfield." Said Tali as she pushed the trigger launching Garfield at the beetle. Garfield ran right through it causing big explosions and raining beetle goo.

Garfield descended from the ground and landed to celebrations.

"You did it Garfield. Hooray for Garfield!" Everyone said together.

"It was nothing I was just using my head." Said Garfield with funny joke.

"Hahahaha." Said everyone laughing at Garfields joke.

"Enough frolic we must return to Normany to examine evidence." Said Garfield with orders.

Garfield and crew returned to the Normany where they rested from the difficult combat. Garfield returned to the Captains Cabin to enjoy refreshing lasagna martini. While relaxing Garfield heard someone enter.

"Who enters my bachelor pad?" demanded Garfield with stern voice.

"It is me." Responded the voice. It was the female collector!

"How is this be." Roared Garfield in shock.

"I followed you here Garfield. I cannot get enough of your sweet loving I need more. I will destroy this ship and ruin your missions unless you give me constant neverending lovings." Demanded the Female collector with sultry seductive sexy audacity.

"Very well I see I have no choice. Come here and I will give you all the lovings you can want." Said Garfield with seductive finger wagging.

The female collector jumped on Garfield and squeezed him with might of meteor shower determined to get all lovings possible. Garfield in turn thrust with force of cosmic hurricane. Garfield turned on his love making to maximum and surged his pleasure staff through her thighs like lightning rod. The Female Collector experiences pleasure unknown to her and too much to handle for her fragile self and her head exploded from the massive love makings.

"Don't get a big head." Said Garfield with smooth style as he casually strutted out sipping his lasagna martini.

To be continued…


	9. Chapter 9

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 9 Beach Bash Bonanza!

It was Thursday on the Normany and everyone was stressed and worried because of combat. Garfield was in his room with the ladies trying to lighten spirits.

"Come on ladies let us have some kinky times." Said Garfield to the ladies.

"I am not in the mod Garfield I am so worried about fighting collectors." Said Miranda with refusal.

"I am so stressed out I can think so longer." Said Tali shaking her head crying.

"This is nonsense you women can not take stress. Look at me I am strong I do not let weak collectors bother me." Said Garfield pounding his chest. Garfield chastisement made the womens cry like babies n a shower.

"." Said all the ladies with crying eyes.

"Fine you ladies win. What we need is a vacation to liven up stress. Let us go to the beach!" declared Garfield with excitement.

"BEACH PARTY." Yelled out everyone in joy.

"Joker head to Beach Planet right now for fun in the sun!" Ordered Garfield with vacation.

With Garfields orders the Normany zoomed through space for vacation getaway like seagulls flying for winter. When the Normany arrived on the Beach Planet, Garfield and crew got out for summer fun. Miranda and Tali were playing Jack and Samara in a game of beach volley ball while in skimpy bikinis. Garfield was at the bar drinking and shooting breezes with bartender ted.

"**This is beach bum life." said Garfield with relaxation as he sipped his ****Piña colada ****and listened to beach boys music on the stereo.**

"Garfield please put suntan lotion all over my body so I do not get sunburn." Asked Kasumi with seduction.

"I will be right there sweet stacks." Responded Garfield with love making ideas.

Garfield rubbed Kasumi all over with suntan lotion, stroking her firm body with his manly hands. Garfield took extra care on her special areas so they do not get sunburned.

"Thank you Garfield your strong hands take me to space beaches unknown." Said Kasumi with dreaminess.

As Garfield returned to the bar for relaxation he saw a sexy female Hanar approach him with sassy walk.

"Hello Garfield I saw the sexy massage you just gave. I am Hannah the Hanar and I want to get to know you better." Said the Hanar with introduction.

"Let me get you a drink then I will show you all you want to learn." Said Garfield with flirtations.

Elsewhere on the Island Garrus and Jacob were walking along the beach. They were wearing flower pattern shirts and shorts for beach comfort. Garrus was also wearing a straw hat.

"What is that." Said Garrus pointing to a mysterious object in the sand.

Garrus and Jacob went closer for personal inspection.

"It looks like Tikki idol." Said Garrus to Jacob.

"We should keep it as souvenir." Said Jacob with excitement.

With their new souvenir Garrus and Jacob walked back to the bar to watch the girls play volleyball. Tali was jumping up to hit the ball with her hands when she slipped and fell, twisting her ankle and making her bathing suit fall off.

"What happened?" Cried out Garrus with worry.

"I fell with bad luck. Only bad luck could cause this fall." Cried Tali with sadness.

"This is my kind of bad luck." Said Jacob looking at naked Tali.

"Oh you boys!" Cried out Tali in embarrassment.

"Oh yeah!" Said Garrus high fiving Jacob.

"Let me see that Tikki Idol." Demanded Samara taking the Tikki idol.

"This Tikki idol is cursed." Said Samara with superstition.

"Do not be crazy woman." Laughed Garrus with mockery.

"That Tikki Idol will give bad luck to all." Said Samara with warning.

"I do not believe you I am keeping it, it is mine." Said Garrus with stubbornness.

Meanwhile elsewhere on the Island Dr. Mordin Solus was preparing for a surf off with surfer Chad with Normany at stake.

"Ok frog man if I win the Normany is mine, if you win you are declared new king of the beach." Declared Chad in challenging voice.

"You are on! I will show you that scientists can be surfers too!" Roared Dr. Mordin Solus with determination.

Dr. Mordin Solus and Chad went into water with surfboards with crowd watching. At first the surf off was close but Dr. Mordin Solus gained speed and began taking the win. The crowd began chanting "Dr. Mordin Solus! Dr. Mordin Solus!" for support. All was well until Garrus and Jacob showed up for watching. With suddenness Dr. Mordin Solus surfboard began rocking and he fell into water causing Chad to take the win.

"Haha losers I win Normany is mine." Said Chad with arrogant voice.

"How could I lose it is not possible." Said Dr. Mordin Solus with disbelief.

"Could it be the Cursed Tikki idol?" asked Jacob with questions.

"Yes it is that cursed Tikki Idol. I felt mysterious force make me trip."Said Dr. Mordin Solus with rage.

Garfield was still at the bar chatting with the sexy Hanar lady when he saw all the arguing.

"Excuse me my swimming sweetheart but I have business." Said Garfield excusing himself.

"Be back soon buttercups." Said Hannah the Hanar with adoration.

Garfield strutted over like ambassador ready to solve disputed with iron fist.

"What is this squabbles?" demanded Garfield with leadership.

"Normany is mine it was lost in surf off hand it over!" Yelled Chad with snoot.

"I lost because of Cursed Tikki Idol it is not fair!" Said Dr. Mordin Solus with protest.

"Enough of this. That idol must be returned to native for culture." Said Garfield with respect.

"We will go into jungle to return idol to natives." Said Jacob and Garrus together with unison.

"Yes I will have a rematch with Chad for Normany. No curse can touch my surf skills." Said Garfield with athleticism.

"You are on Garfield. I will show all ladies who is real man." Said Chad with haughty laugh.

"I will spank you like a boy in summer school." Said Garfield with discipline.

Garfield and Chad headed into the water with their surfboards to begin their surf off. Meanwhile Garrus and Jacob ran into the jungle to search for the natives to return the Cursed Tikki Idol.

"Where is the natives." Asked Jacob with frustration.

"Over there." Pointed Garrus pointing at the natives.

Garrus and Jacob rushed to the natives to return the cursed Tikki Idol to its rightful owners.

"Please accept this Cursed Tikki Idol for cultural exchange." Said Jacob with respect for all cultures.

"Every person is like rainbow different and special." Said Garrus with important message.

The Native chieftain took the Cursed Tikki Idol and looked at it.

"This Cursed Tikki Idol is Cursed. It was made by the reapers." Said the Chieftain with worry.

"What?" Said Garrus and Jacob at once.

"We must perform ritual dance to uncurse it. " Said Chieftain.

Garrus and Jacob began dancing around the Idol while the Chieftain chanted words for magic. Meanwhile back at the Surf off Garfield was showing off his moves doing one handed and one legged surfing. Chad looked on with jealousy and Garfield whizzed past him. Garfield all of sudden felt his surf board wobble. Garfield began struggle on his board and Chad began to pass him.

"Haha Garfield soon I will be galaxy surfing champ!" Mocked Chad with interspace mockery.

Seeing Chad pass him, Garfield calmly took out his Desert Eagle and shot Chad in the kneecaps making him fall off his surfboard.

"Arrrrrggh" Screamed Chad in losing despair.

"Looks like I got a leg up." Said Garfield with cool style as he surfed to victory to adoring crowds. Everyone chanted Garfields name in joy and women threw their clothes at him. Meanwhile Garrus and Jacob were finishing the ceremonies to uncurse Tikki Idols.

"There now ceremony is complete and curse is lifted." Said the Native Chieftain with relief.

"Now we can return to Garfield with good news." Said Garrus to Jacob. Garrus and Jacob then left to return to Garfield with news of curse removal. When arriving they saw Garfield celebrating his surfing victory one arm holding his trophy the other around his new Hanar lady friend. In the water Chad was being eaten by space sharks.

"Garfield I see no curses can stop your surfing skills." Said Garrus with admiration.

"Yes I won by a foot." Said Garfield with clever wit.

"We too have good news we returned the Cursed Tikki Idol. All is well." Said Jacob with happiness.

"That is very good let us have luau tonight for party celebration!" Declared Garfield with party spirit.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay." Chanted everyone with jumping up and down.

That night Garfield and crew celebrated the night dancing the hula and eating roast pork. Garfield sat by a bon fire while he serenaded the ladies with his Ukulele. After a night of beach partying Garfield and crew returned to the Normany refreshed.

"I feel like new man." Garfield said to himself as he walked into the Captains Quarters muscular and tan. On entering he saw special visitor. It was Hannah the Hanar!

"Garfield you did not think you could get away without saying goodbye." Said Hannah the Hanar with seductive voice.

"I am sorry. But now that we are alone I will make you say goodbye to pants and hello to ecstasy." Whispered Garfield in tone of seductive dove.

"Come here fly boy." Said Hannah the Hanar with alluring tentacle.

Garfield grasped Hannah the Hanar with his masculine arms and held her to him. Hannah looked at Garfield with love in the eyes and caressed him with her tentacles with deep caress. Garfield licked her body all over in places she never knew and gave her extreme pleasure of Garfield variety. Hannahs tentacles explored Garfield tone body like a car on the moon leaving no rock unturned. Body pressing eachother like stacked pancakes, Garfield and Hannah rocked the cosmos until morning dawn.

To be continued…..


	10. Chapter 10

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 10 Derelict Reaper Debacle!

Garfield was in the engineer checking on engines for maximum usage and talking to engineers Gabby Daniels and Kenneth Donnelly.

"Garfield engine needs repair but it is too difficult for us." Said Kenneth Donnelly with confused tongue.

"Yes if only real man worked on engines than maybe it could be fixed." Cried Gabby Daniels with worried heart.

"Worry not, hot legs, I fix engine like pro mechanic. You should watch you two might learn something." Said Garfield with wrench in hand and courage in heart.

Garfield leaped on the engine ripping it apart with manly hands with oil spurting on his muscles turning Gabby Daniels on like warming engine. After twists and turns of the wrench Garfield fixed engine with no problem.

"Garfield you naughty grease monkey you drive me wild like wrench in the night." Said Gabby Daniels body dripping with oil and sweat.

"You are the naughty one you sassy she woman." Said Garfield as he put Gabby Daniels on his lap with mighty swoop and began to spank her with pleasuring fury as he laughed like love making mad man.

"HA HA HA" Laughed Garfield as he spanked Gabby with powerful hand, making her long for his manly body.

"Garfield you rev me up like space engine in heat. Take me and work me over like model car." Said Gabby Daniels with desire.

"Will do. I will go inside you and change your oil. Kenneth I order you to watch so you can learn something. Captains orders." Said Garfield with insistence as he took Gabby took the back for heavy love making.

"Time for a remodeling." said Garfield as he took Gabbys clothes off and began rubbing her body. Kenneth looked on with approval as Garfield fondled Gabbys supple breasts with his muscular arms.

"Garfield pump me with gas I am almost empty." Moaned Gabby with pleasure.

"I am the gas man. I will pump you with highest quality fuel. Enjoy every drop." Said Garfield like manly gas man pumping the gas into a high quality sports car. Garfield thrust into Gabby making scream with moaning passion as Kenneth looked on taking notes. Garfield and Gabby than lay exhausted from strenuous sexual exercise.

"Excellent job Garfield. You are a true master." Said Kenneth giving Garfield a thumbs up.

"Thank you Kenneth but I think this saucy lady needs some more discipline." Said Garfield as he put Gabby on his lap and spanked her some more.

"Garfield spank me more I love it, I need it." Said Gabby screaming.

"I will spank you into oblivion." Growled Garfield seductively as he readied for more Spanking pleasure.

As Garfield Spanked Gabby the Allusive Man contacted Garfield through hologram for important mission.

"What is it I am busy." Said Garfield with Gabby on his lap.

"Garfield I am sorry for interrupting but I have important mission for you. A Derelict Reaper has been found. It has Reaper IFF codes. With these you can go into Omega relay and fight collectors." Said the Allusive man with request.

"Very well I will head immediately and find Reaper IFFs so I can stomp collectors on my boot. Over and out." Declared Garfield with speech.

"Joker head to Derelict Reaper and make with haste." Ordered Garfield as he continued to Spank Gabby.

With Garfields orders, The Normany sped to the Derelict reaper like a sprinting Gazelle leaping for joy. As the Normany traveled Garfield continued to spank Gabby delivering pleasure to her rear and thighs. When Normany arrived at the Derelict reaper, Garfield let gabby off, her hind quarters red with spanking. She would not sit for days but she was happy.

"Garfield please be careful I will be waiting for you." Sighed Gabby with worry.

"No problem babe. Keep the bed warm for me." Said Garfield cooley as he left the Normany to board the derelict reaper. Garfield took Tali and Garrus with him to explore Derelict Reaper for IFF codes.

Garfield and squad searched the Derelict Reaper for IFF codes, finding no one inside.

"Where is everyone?" Asked Tali with worry.

"You women always worry. Relax big strong man is here." Said Garfield with confidence.

"Garfield you always know what to say to make woman feel good." Said Tali as she grasped his muscular arm.

Garrus looked at Garfield and Tali with jealous gaze and sighed to himself with longing dejection.

As Garfield comforted Tali with his manly presence he sensed figures moving in the distance approaching them. They were Husks!

"Haha Garfield you will not leave this place alive. Prepare to be digestion!" Garbled the sinister husks with evil intentions.

"I do not think so. I prefer my food being cooked first so let us have barbeque." Said Garfield slyly as he took out two flame throwers lighting a cigar with one.

The husks rushed Garfield with great attacks but it was no use. Garfield torched them with ease with his special lasagna flamethrowers. One Husks jumped on Garfields back trying to choke him in piggy back move, but Garfield brushed him off with ease and then stomped on his skull.

"Let us move quick and get IFF codes ." Said Garfield as he and squad ran through the Derelict Reaper, torching husks as they went. Garfield and squad finally came to a room with many Husks inside discussing plans.

"We must protect these IFF codes from Garfield." Said the Husk general to his husk followers.

"Those IFF codes belong to Garfield!" Shouted a metallic voice. It was a Geth!

"The reapers must be stopped I will get those codes!" Said the Geth.

"Come we must help!" Shouted Garfield barging in flamethrowers blazing with powers.

The Husk General confronted the Geth with evil.

"None of you will leave with this IFF." Said the Husk General as he shot the Geth.

"NOOOOOOO." Screamed the Geth as he lay injured.

Garfield saw the evil display and became filled with an oily rage of destroyed rainforests.

"I WILL GET YOOOOU." Said Garfield as he charged through the Husks like seashells through sand as he torched them to waste. Garfield then approached the Husk general with a strut so manly the ground cried.

"Garfield you may be manly but I will not let you have these IFF codes it is the orders." Said the Husk general.

"Relax have a smoke." Said Garfield sticking a piece of dynamite in the Husk generals mouth.

"Light up." Garfield wittily commented as he lit the dynamite with his flame throwers.

"HMMMMF" Cried out the Husk general, mouth stuffed with dynamite.

"Do not lose your head." Quipped Garfield with clever joke as the Husk generals head blew off like geyser in a blackhole.

"G-arfield." T he injured Geth Was injured and crying for help.

Quick take this Geth we must bring it back for repairing." Ordered Garfield to the squad.

"But Garfield Geth are bad menaces we must not bring it back they are our enemies." Cried out Tali with girlish crying.

"Shut up woman do as I say." Roared Garfield a he backhanded Tali in the face.

"Yes Garfield you are right and I am wrong." Apologized Tali with truth.

After apologizing for her stupid sayings, Tali took the Geth and followed Garfield and Garrus off the derelict reaper and back on the Normany. Before leaving the Derelict Reaper, Garfield said his farewells.

"Goodbye Reaper, you need a vacation here why do you not go somewhere sunny." Said Garfield with chill tone as he punched the reaper with a mighty punch, sending it into a nearby sun.

When back on the Normany Garfield checked up on the Geth guest to see if all was well.

"Greetings Mr. Geth I am thanking you for your help but why do you help us you are Geth and Geth are evil." Asked Garfield with good questions.

"All Geth are not evil. Some Geth are evil and follow Reapers other Geth are good. I am good Geth." Said the Geth with answers.

"That is good but what is your name?" Asked Garfield.

"My name is Legion." Answered the Geth with respect and awe of Garfield.

"That is a silly name." Said Garfield with mocking truth.

"I am sorry it is not my fault I have silly name please forgive me Garfield." Begged Legion as he kneeled on the ground.

"It is ok but do not anger me more. Now stop crying like a woman." Scolded Garfield as he left to his quarters.

"What great man and amazing leader." Said Legion in awe to himself.

Back in the Captains Quarters Garfield was relaxing and enjoying a nice Lasagna dinner when EDI appeared in his room.

"Garfield I have need to talk with you." Said Edi with longing voice.

"What is the matter EDI." Asked Garfield with caring concern.

"Even though I am machine you make me feel ways no one else can. I see you from my hub and long for you." Cried EDI with desire.

"You have no need to long no more. I will satisfy you and make you feel like real woman." Whispered Garfield to EDI as he stroked her.

"Garfield come and pleasure my CPU." Said EDI with desire.

Garfield rubbed EDIs sexy blue body and licked her blue dome. EDI massaged Garfield between his legs arousing him sensually.

"Nothing I like better than a good soldier standing erect." Said EDI with sassy seduction as she continued to stroke Garfield between his thighs. Garfield then took ahold of EDI, brought her to his bed and mounted her behind with roaring love. Garfield squeezed EDI with his powerful thighs and thrust into her like runaway tornado. After nearly 10 hours of intense love making Garfield and EDI finally rested, laying on the bed with satisfaction until the morning light.

To be continued…


	11. Chapter 11

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 11 Public Service Health Message

Garfield was in his quarters reading his favorite magazine, "Hot Women, Weight Lifting, Big Guns and Lasagna" when he heard mighty big ruckus. It was coming from other rooms so Garfield went to check it out with curious catness.

"Quarians are better than Geth we will beat you all!" Screamed Tali.

"No Geth are better we are going to kill all Quarians!" Shouted Legion.

Legion and Tali were fighting with prejudice over whose has better culture and peoples.

"SILENCE." Roared Garfield with mediation.

"Garfield Geth are evil I cannot work with them." Said Tali with stubbornness.

"Quarians are all same, dumb and stupid." Said Legion with racism.

Garfield looked at both of them and then thought of brilliant idea to make them realize values of all peoples.

"That is enough of this racism I will teach you how to value eachother. You must make love with each of intimate sexuality." Said Garfield with great knowledge.

"What I cannot do this." Said Tali with objection.

"I will not be naked with Quarian." Cried out Legion in despair.

"You will do it is my orders captains orders. I will stay here until you do it." Said Garfield with courageous commands.

With Garfield commands Tali and Legion knew it was right thing to do so they began to embrace and make romance. Legion wrapped his metal arms around Tali and began to take off her clothes Tali than rubbed her body against Legions glowing metal thighs as Garfield watched with approval.

"You look dirty it looks like you need a polishing." Said Tali as she began to lick Legion all over the body with her sexy tongue.

"Come here let me show you that robots do it better." Said Legion as he grabbed Tali and brought her on top of his groin and began to thrust with automatic motion.

"Show me your metallic manhood you rusty bag of bolts!" Screamed Tali with satisfaction.

Legion grabbed Tali and brought her to the light switch which he turned off and then they both slid down into darkness to continue their lovecapade. Garfield smiled with satisfaction knowing he did a job well done and went back to his quarters to continue relaxation.

Later that night while Garfield was dreaming sweet dreams of sexy ladies covered in lasagna ready for delicious eating Garfield was awoken by noises.

"Garfield it is emergency! It is all legions fault! I got robot STD!" Cried out Tali with panic.

"It is not my fault it is her fault!" Said Legion pointing at Tali.

Garfield looked at them both with wonder and disgustedness.

"What do you not know about safe sex?" Asked Garfield with dumbfoundedness.

"What is safe sex?" asked Tali.

"I do not know." Said Legion with wonder.

"This is serious we must gather crew to teach benefit of safe sex." Ordered Garfield with worry.

Garfield gathered crew together for important meetings of grave importance. When everyone gathered Garfield began his special talk of education.

"Today I am going to teach you all meaning of safe sex." Said Garfield with teaching power.

"What is safe sex?" Asked Garrus with inquisition.

"I have never heard this before I do not know how to do this." Said Kelly Chambers with worry.

"I am scientist and never heard of this in my research." Said Dr. Mordin Solus with Scientific Method.

"It is good thing I am teaching you. It is very important for healthy adults." Said Garfield as he drew male anatomy on chalkboard.

"Here is safe sex." Said Garfield as he drew condom over male anatomy.

"I see." Said Jacob with interest.

Garfield then took out a pole and put condom on it.

"Here is another example of safe sex." Said Garfield with tutorship.

"Aha." Said Dr. Mordin Solus with scientific discovery.

"Here everyone try out safe sex." Said Garfield passing out condoms to everyone.

"Try them on now." Ordered Garfield with righteousness.

Everyone tried out Condoms in front of Garfield and were satisfied by results.

"Safe sex feels good thank you Garfield." Said Miranda with approval.

"No problem remember safety comes first even with sex." Said Garfield with heroism.

After important speech Garfield towards Kelly Chambers with sassy walk full of romantic intent.

"Hey there Kelly you are fine young lady. Keep up the good work." Said Garfield with compliments.

"Thank you Garfield I just want to make you happy." Said Kelly with smile on her face.

"If you want to make me happy then you should come with me inside the Captains Cabin so I can know you better inside and out." Garfield quipped while slapping Kelly rear areas.

"But Garfield we have no condoms we can not do safe sex. I am afraid of STDS." Whined Kelly with worrying crying.

"Do not worry Sugar Shorts. The only STD I give is pleasure." Smirked Garfield with knowing smirk.

"Garfield you always know best let us go." Agreed Kelly with joyousness.

Garfield then led Kelly to his Quarters so they could continue the blossoming romances.

"Kelly you must lap dance for me or else you are a bad crewman and will be punished." Ordered Garfield with brave commands.

"Yes sir I will do as you ask." Replied Kelly with obedience.

"Kelly began to dance and Garfield looked on with romance. Kelly did a very nice lap dance full of satisfaction as she rubbed herself all over Garfields lap.

"That is very good. Now you must rub my feet with sexy oil for they ache." Said Garfield as he opened a fresh container of lasagna to enjoy.

Kelly rubbed Garfield down with sexy oil relaxing his body as he enjoyed his nutritious lasagna with great gleeful joy. As she finished her Massages Garfield looked up with look on his face. She knew what to do.

"Let's do this." Said Garfield with a wink.

Garfield and Kelly merged their bodies like waves in rough beach rubbing with passion and love. They rocked their bodies all night long rocking the cosmos with their love makings.

To be continued…

Authors Note: Remember everyone to use safe sex! It is the only way to prevent STDS! It is what Garfield does!


	12. Chapter 12

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 12 When Fate Collides!

It was dark night on the Normany and tension was high. The dark howlings of space could be heard and all were on edge. Garfield was in his quarters plotting strategies of great importance.

"This is the final showdown." Thought Garfield to himself. Garfields team was assembled and all was ready. Soon the last attacks on the Collectors would begin and galaxies destiny would be decided. Garfield laid back on his bed and look on the stars to guide him in his final conflict. Garfield turned soul searching music of Europe as he reminisced over friends gained and enemies defeated with fists of justice. Garfield looked out into window in space his eyes twinkling with the stars and burning like the suns. Just then Garrus entered the room with urgent feet.

"Garfield team is ready for final space combat." Said Garrus with solemness.

"Yes it is time. Let us meet for inspiration speech." Ordered Garfield with commands.

Before leaving Garfield enjoyed one final meal of lasagna deliciousness. He knew he might be eating his next lasagna in Valhalla so he treasured every bite as if it were beautiful woman in a lasagna pot covered in sauce. He made love to his lasagna with great power and care.

"This lasagna is fine like sweet naked woman. I will eat it through and through." Whispered Garfield to himself and he smelled sweet smell of fresh cooked lasagna and tasted it on his tongues.

After enjoying his delicious Lasagna meal Garfield went to the meeting room to make speech to his crew to inspire them to reach for the stars. He jumped up stood on the table with vigor in his eyes and energy in his heart. He pointed to them all as he delivered most riveting speech in history.

"Today we wage war on wicked. No man woman or child will stand in our path of fury. All will be mowed down like grass in a rampaging lawnmower. Space is the butter we will cut through like warm knives. In mankinds darkest hour there is light, we are the light to shine the way to hope. We strike while the iron is soft and ready for pounding. Tonight we are not only soldiers but warriors, engaging in primordial space combat. We fight for ourselves our families our friends, the ladies, and our country. They may say odds are against us but I will take the odds and beat collectors to death with them and then shove them down their throats and make them explode." Garfield roared with inspiration fists clenched and eyes blazing and muscles flexing.

Everyone cheered and applauded at Garfields speech. Jack burst into tears by the inspiration while Miranda tore off her shirt and threw it at Garfield in a fit of excitement.

"TO YOUR STATIONS." Ordered Garfield with manly courage. All of crew went to their positions in preparation of entering the Omega relay for final showdown.

"ENTER RELAY" Garfield ordered with booming voice. As Normany approached the Omega relay cold sweat formed on Garfields orange brow. Exciting dread filled his heart and stomach. However as the Normany approached the relay a ship soon approached them. It was a Collector ship! As the ship approached a hologram appeared on their deck. It was the Allusive man!

"Allusive man what do want? We are beginning final assault, I have no time for foolishness." Scolded Garfield with harshness.

"Garfield you have done well to come this far but you will go no further for I will put an end to you."The Allusive Man said with snide evil.

"WHAT. TRAITOROUS INSECT." Garfield shouted with betrayal.

"Haha Garfield you have done everything according to my plans now I will finally get vengeance. Enough of this disguises and see the true face of evil." Said Allusive man as he removed his cunning disguise to reveal he was Odie! Odie had an eye patch and a cybernetic arm. His shoulder spikes sparkled in space light as his evil cape whooshed in darkness.

"ODIE. YOU LIVE?" Gasped Garfield as he looked on in shock.

Odie laughed with evil laugh as dark powers swirled around him.

"Yes Garfield it is true. The day you killed me you not only killed my body but my heart. I lost the ability to love that day. However I was brought back to life through black magic and cybernetics. With vengeance in my heart and face I went back in time to the beginnings of the universe and created the reapers to destroy humanity and get my vengeance. I then waited for eons in the frozen time until now so I can exact my glorious revenge on you and the precious humans." Odie snarled as he clenched his robotic fist filled with evil.

"You evil fool. I have kill you once I will be killing you again." Challenged Garfield with courage.

"No Garfield I have grown more stronger than you can imagine. My powers of evil are unstoppable. Witness my supreme might!" Odie said as he used dark cosmic powers to capture Garfields ship crew leaving only himself and his combat squad members.

"NOOOOO." Screamed Garfield in despairing cry as he witnessed the horrors.

"Now it is the time for you to meet the oblivion. Be gone!" Growled Odie with bellow as he shot lasers at the Normany sending it spiraling into space to be lost for eternities. Odie laughed and laughed as Garfield and his friends crashed to their seeming doom.

To be continued…


	13. Chapter 13

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 13 New Earth: Post Colonial Wasteland!

It was early dew in the morning dripping with moisty sadness when Garfield awoke from long slumber. Where was he? What was he doing?

"Where am I? What am I doing?" Asked Garfield with confusion.

"You are on planet of New Earth." A voiced said from behind a mystery curtain. From behind velvet curtains came a talking Varren!

"Back beast I will crush you with my boot with stamping strength!" Roared Garfield at the talking Varren.

"Fear not brave Garfield we are peaceful talking varren. Radiation gave us talking abilities." Explained the Varren with information.

"What is this?" Pointed Garfield to the world.

"This is New Earth. It was a Human colony world but was abandoned and left a desert radiation wasteland. Now it is world of danger and despair." Said the Talking Varren with sighs of lost hope.

"WHERE IS MY CREW AND SHIP DID YOU EAT THEM FOUL BEASTS?" Raged Garfield with vengeance in his eyes.

"No Garfield you fell from space alone. Your Crew must be elsewhere on the planet." Said the Talking Varren with truth.

"Very well talking creature. I will go on and search for them with navigation like explorer." Declared Garfield like brave frontiersman.

"First please stay for dinner we are having lasagna and you need energy for trials." The talking Varren offered with hospitality.

"Very well show me to your lasagna strange creature." Demanded Garfield with orders.

Meanwhile in Odies Space Fortress, Odie was sitting on his evil skull throne made of bones and spikes plotting his evils. Kelly Chambers, Gabby Daniels and Dr. Chakwas were chained to Odies throne with spiked collars and wearing tight leather bikinis. The rest of the Normany crew were hanging in cages over space piranhas. Odie lounged and relaxed with evil as he sipped baby's blood from a golden jeweled goblet with one hand and held a whip with the other.

"Hahaha you ladies will pleasure me and accept my seed into you." Menaced Odie with vile intents as he whipped the ladies with his wicked whip.

"No you are wrong black hearted beast we will never allow you to put your dread force into us." Cried out Kelly Chambers with defiance.

"Oh no you are the one who is being wrong. You will forget your man Garfield and love me like you loved him." Laughed Odie with howling as his eye glared with red hot evil.

While Odie was doing his evil a collector minion came in to report to Odie for evil plans.

"Lord Odie we are ready to begin first stage of Project Galaxy Crusher." Reported the collector with obedience.

"Very good soon we will unleash dogs of war on the Galaxy and capture more females. I NEED more females to spread my cursed seed." Declared Odie with villain speech as he clenched his robotic fist.

Meanwhile back on New Earth Garfield was sharing outdoor meal of lasagna over campfire with tribe of talking Varren.

"Please all welcome our honored guest Garfield. He is brave galactic hero." Declared the elder Varren Chief with respectful dignity.

All of the Varren stood up and clapped for Garfield. Garfield stood up and gave a manly salute.

"I am just one cat doing his part to save galaxies." Said Garfield with humble heroism.

As everyone began to sit down to enjoy Lasagna nutrition a BEAUTIFUL varren princess entered and sat down by the fire. As he sat down she noticed Garfield and was captivated by his manly good looks. Garfield noticed her and gave her flirty wink of approval as he checked out her smooth tight body. Garfield then walked to the Varren Princess with flirty swagger.

"What is a good looking Varren princess doing in places like this?" Asked Garfield with sly smirk on his chiseled face.

"Oh Garfield you make me blush like ripe barrel of tomatoes." Said the Varren Princess with shy mumblings.

"Come back to my tent and I will make you ripe all over." Flirted Garfield with sparkle in his eyes.

"Garfield take me and make me a woman." Said the Varren Princess as she went with Garfield to Garfields tent for serious love making.

The BEAUTIFUL Varren princess leaped on Garfield like a frog on the prowl and rode him like the stallion he was. But a stallion is a bull and bulls cannot be tamed. Garfield gave her such force of love that she flew off him like jack in the box. Garfield then leaped on her and showed her what lovers can really do. Garfield made the Varren princess howl to the moon with pleasure as they rocked the tent all night long. That morning Garfield awoke with urgency as he prepared for journeys of heart and soul.

"Must you leave my meaty man?" Asked the Varren princess with heartbreak.

"Yes salty slacks I must go find ship and crew in this wasteland world." Garfield said as he put cigarette in his mouth and lit with masculinity.

"Garfield you will die in wastelands! New Earth is death hole!" Cried out the Varren princess with pleading tongue.

"No planet can kill me. I tear planet inside and out with my rampaging fists and knock it into black hole." Declared Garfield as he began to walking into horizon.

"Take care sweet sexy princess. Remember times we had and lasagna we shared." Said Garfield with manly calmness as he walked off into blinding red suns.

"What a man." Thought the BEAUTIFUL Varren princess as she saw Garfield walking way into horizon, knowing she would not meet such man or be satisfied in such ways as long as she lived.

Garfield walked many miles and trekked many kilometers in dry sand. Desert winds blew through his manly orange hair and the red sun blazed on him with burning rage. Garfield looked at the sun and spat at it.

"I do not fear you sun! Come down and fight me like real man!" Roared Garfield with challenge over the desert sands.

The sun remained silent out of fear and soon night came. Garfield scoffed at the pitiful suns and walked further into the desert with courage in his heart. After more traveling in the distance Garfield saw what looked like roaring flames! Garfield rushed forward with speed of porcupine to see what madness was this.

"HEEEELP." Screamed poor defenseless villager.

"What is matter poor weakling villager?" Asked Garfield with heroic questions.

"We are being attacked by mutant biker gang!" Cried the villager in desperate tears.

Garfield saw biker mutants ravaging villages and terrorizing towns peoples. Garfields eyes filled with rage as he saw the injustices.

"You have ridden your last ride biker fiends!" Bellowed Garfield as he prepared for combat.

Garfield took his combat knife with custom lasagna engraving hidden in his boot and threw it at one biker mutant with force of 1000 megatons. The knife soared through air like a tuna leaping in triumph and tore through bikers mutants body and impaled him on wall like shishkabob shrimp.

"I am the knife salesmen, here is a free sample." Quipped Garfield with hilarity.

After Garfields funny quip he saw more Biker Mutants performing terror. Garfield took his Desert Eagle out and aimed with hawks eye and fired shooting four biker mutants with one bullet.

"Like killing birds with stones." Garfield said with witty humor.

The last Biker mutant than charged Garfield with smashing in mind. Garfield looked at the fool with fiery eyes and grabbed stupid biker mutant by the neck and pulled him off the bike and held him high by the throat.

"Please Garfield let me live I have family to support." Pleaded the mutant biker with begging.

"You can support your family as ghost in the mines of hell!" Said Garfield with hot blooded fury as he crushed the biker mutants neck with his mighty grip making his eyes pop out of his head.

After disposing of the biker scum an Asari woman came out to greet Garfield with thanks.

"Thank you Garfield for saving our village from the Biker mutants. I am Liara T'Snoni." Said the Asari woman with gratitude.

"Ah yes I have heard you woman. What are you doing on this place?" Asked Garfield with inquisition.

"I have heard of you too Garfield. You are mighty galactic warrior of truth and justice. I am searching for shadow broker on this planet but so far I have no clues." Answered Liara T'Soni with great admiration and respect of Garfield.

"Yes this is truth. But where did those biker mutants come from? What is source of this evil?" Asked Garfield with curious words.

"It is most tragic tale. I am afraid to say leader of those biker mutants is our old friend Garrus. The Desert sun has driven him to madness. He now rules biker gangs with iron fist and terrorizes the land." Liara T'Soni answered with sadness in her heart.

"YOU ARE WOMAN OF LIES. GARRUS IS COMRADE IN ARMS AND WOULD NOT FALL TO EVIL." Roared Garfield with disbelief.

"It is sadness but truth. Garrus has lost his senses. If you must see then go north to their lair of madness." Liara T'Soni said pointing north to the horizon.

"I will go and prove you wrong. I will make you eat your words like fresh lasagna being rammed in your face." Garfield declared with booming voice filled with righteousness as he walked backed into the desert to prove the innocence of his comrade and find truth for all.

"God speed Garfield. Only you can save Garrus from the madness." Whispered Liara T'Soni to herself as she saw Garfield walk into desert winds with iron will.

To be continued…


	14. Chapter 14

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 14 Friend Vs Friend!

The sun was burning like stove in the heat while Garfield journeyed in desert sand. Garfield had heard rumors of horror that Garrus had turned to madness and evil and was leading biker mutants to torment the innocent.

"Garrus I will not believe you have turned to villainy I will save you from the lies." Garfield said to himself as he journeyed with legs full of tiredness.

As Garfield walked a sandstorm blew sand in his face with vile menace but Garfield felt no pain and laughed with heartiness.

"Sands do your worst. Sand is nothing to my iron muscle!" Shouted Garfield over desert sandstorm.

As Garfield journeys in sand he reminisced over times had and friendships shared with Garrus. He thought of happy times of eating lasagna and talking about hot girls and sexy womens. Garfield thought of happy memories as he walked in sands. Soon after much walking Garfield saw mysterious structure of majesty. It was great Sphinx statue with Garrus head on it! It was surrounded by biker mutants and on top sitting on throne of majesty wearing royal crown was Garrus dressed like mighty Turian biker pharaoh. Men women and children were slaves working on mighty Garrus-Sphinx statue for Garrus. Chained to Garrus-sphinxes eyes were Tali and Miranda!

"Garfield you must save us. Garrus has lost his mind and can not find it!" Screamed Miranda with panic.

"You must bring him to sense!" Yelled Tali with crying.

"Shut up womens I will put you in place." Roared Garrus with angry voice.

"Garrus you must stop madness. Come with me to find Normany and fight reapers!" Shouted Garfield to Garrus.

"No Garfield I have found the truth. You have held me back from glory. I now rule dessert sands. I must complete the Garrus-Sphinx as monument to my majesty!" Declared Garrus with mad insanity in his eyes.

"Garrus do not make me fight. I do not want to be fighting you." Garfield said with eager fists ready for fighting combat.

"Haha Garfield your day of glory is over and mine has now begun face my might! Get him biker mutants!" Garrus ordered to his biker mutants as he laughed with maniac laughing.

Biker mutants rushed Garfield and attacked them with all of their biker might, but Garfield was ready for combat and rushed in with glorious fists of pounding. Biker Mutants try to fight Garfield with fists and chains but Garfield blocked with ease and pounded them like mushy lasagna unworthy of stomachs.

"Timer for dinner first course Biker mutant." Commented Garfield with cleverness.

Another wave of Biker mutants came for fighting but Garfield was prepared. Garfield blocked one Biker mutants punch and ripped his arm off and used it to beat more biker mutants silly.

"This is my sword and virtue is my shield." Roared Garfield with bellowing.

More waves of Biker mutants came but Garfield was not afraid for he fears no man woman child or biker mutant. Garfield whipped out his trusty Desert Eagle and pumped it full of action.

"I am the weatherman and I predict bullet showers." Garfield declared with heroic voice as he mowed down biker mutants like Wild West Space Cowboy.

After Biker mutants were mowed down Garrus jumped down from the Garrus-Sphinx to challenge Garfield in one on one manly battle. Garrus approached Garfield and threw his Pharaoh cape away with dramatics.

"Garfield I challenge you to one on one battle. Mono y mono .No weapons just manly fists." Garrus challenged with showdown finger points.

"You are on G-man. I will pound sense into you with iron knuckles!" Garfield responded throwing weapons away with ease.

"Time to show you what real man is made of!" Garrus said with audaciousness as he prepared with Turian martial arts.

As Garfield and Garrus began to fought AWESOME rockin music filled the air. Garfield and Garrus rushed each other with speed like Spawning Bass. They exchanged blows like crashing trains. As fists collided thunder sparked in the air with great booming and ground shook with quacking.

"You are true man Garfield but I will not letting you win. Prepare for jump kick!" Garrus yelled with challenging vocals as he prepared for jump kick.

"I Will meet you FOOT ON!" Responded Garfield without fear.

With these mighty words Garfield and Garrus soared through air with mighty jump kicks and met eachother mid air with red sun blazing behind them for dramatic effect. When Garfield and Garrus returned to ground Garrus fell and sprained his ankle.

"You are lost! Surrender!" Roared Garfield with mighty mercy.

"NEVER." Shouted Garrus as he lifted a large boulder and mashed it on Garfield.

"NOOOOOOO." Shouted Tali and Miranda seeing their lover man crushed by boulders. Tali could not bear the heartbreak and her heart exploded with sadness killing her.

"Hahaha I am the ultimate man now!" Celebrated Garrus with glee.

Then suddenly from the boulder a mighty fist smashed through. An orange figure filled with testosterone and incredible strength emerged. It was Garfield! Garfield muscles burst through his leather jacket showing off tattoos on his manly chest, one of a hot lady in a bikini holding some lasagna and the other of the Reaper playing the guitar. Iron Maiden music was blasting from Garfields presence and clouds formed in the sky spelling out his name because the heavens knew the man (Garfield) was back.

"Garfield!" Garrus gasped with awe at the awesome power which was in front of him.

Garfields blood became hotter than molten lasagna as he launched fist into Garrus' head.

"I WILL MAKE YOU SEE TRUTH." Garfield said with majestic majesty as he punched into Garrus' head and pulled a computer chip from his brain.

"Reapers have been controlling you with this!" Garfield revealed with truth as he crushed computer chip in his power grip.

"My senses I have found them!" Garrus said with relief as his sense returned from reaper mind control.

"Quick we must free ladies!" Said Garfield with love of women as he freed Tali and Miranda but it was too late for Tali.

"What is matter, she is not moving?" Garrus said poking Tali with a stick.

"It is too late she has died from heart explosion." Said Garfield with great sadness and mourning.

"NOOOOO." Garrus cried to the heavens as he fell on his knees.

Garfield picked up Tali and brought her to empty grave where he laid her to rest. One manly tear ran down his face as he paid his respects. Miranda cried uncontrollably with woman tears.

"I will be vengeance! I will fight reapers!" roared Garrus with determination.

"Yes but remember, Odie is MINE." Garfield said with clenched fist and grit teeth.

After mourning Garfield and comrades traveled back to village where Liara T'Soni was staying. When they arrived it was night and darkness and sadness loomed in air. Garrus was standing atop hilltop playing smooth sad jazz on a saxophone to express sadness.

"Garrus what is wrong?" Asked Garfield with wondering.

"It is my fault Tali is dead I am a bad Turian." Garrus said with self blame.

"Do not feel bad. It was reapers fault not your own. There are other women in the sea you must not let this keep you down." Garfield said with encouragement.

"Yes you are right. Why can I not be manly like you Garfield?" Garrus asked with regret.

"No man can achieve impossibilities. One day if you train hard and eat lasagna maybe you can stand up to this." Garfield said pointing to his massive bicep.

"Garfield you are true champion. If I am half the man you are I will be happy Turian." Garrus said with true respect for his friend.

After cheering up Garrus, Garfield went to check up on Liara T'Soni.

"Garfield I have important news for you. Saren is alive and on this planet! He is keeping Normany prisoner. You must go to him!" Liara T'Soni said with urgent panic.

"Very well I will go immediately. If Saren can die once he can die twice." Said Garfield pounding fist on table, breaking it.

"Wait Garfield you can not go without proper goodbyes." Whispered Liara T'Soni with tongue in Garfields ear.

"Oh you sassy woman. You know how to make me work up a sweat." Garfield said slapping Liara T'Sonis behind.

"That is right Garfield. When I saw you I knew I had to have you. You are my knight in shining armor now ride me like your trusty steed." Liara T'Soni said with wanting eyes and licking tongue.

"I am knight of love and I will make you my squire. But I must warn you I do not carry a shortsword but a CLAYMORE." Garfield said as he unsheathed himself and jumped in Liara T'Soni ready to deliver pleasure with his mighty blade.

Garfield and Liara meshed bodies together and the whole village heard Liaras banshee cries as Garfield rocked her womanly parts. A shooting star ran across sky as Garfield and Liara rolled in the hot sand making even hotter loving all night long.

To be continued…


	15. Chapter 15

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 15 Impossible Imposter!

Somewhere on New Earth Elcor mother was pushing Elcor baby in a stroller singing Elcor nursery rhymes. She was passing an Elcor and Volus orphanage full of Elcor and Volus children playing football and Nintendo.

"It is nice day to push the babies." The Elcor mother thought as she pushed her baby in a stroller.

Suddenly a mysterious orange figure was seen in the distance riding towards them. It was an orange cat full of muscles and tattoos riding a motor cycle with skull at the handlebars with FLAMING eyes. The orange cat of mystery had different color eyes one red like FIRE the other yellow like BANANAS. He wore a necklace of skulls around his neck and a scar ran down his cheek with intimidation. On his back there was a tattoo of a dragon eating a tank. Rockin Black Sabbath blasted on his radio with great power.

"Could it be? Are you Garfield the great hero?" Asked the Elcor mother with asking.

The Orange cat stared with intensity. He suddenly looked towards the orphanage and pulled out a rocket launcher. He fire at the orphanage causing great explosions blowing up all inside.

"WHAAAAAT." Screamed the Elcor mother with panic.

"I AM GARFIELD KILLER OF CHILDREN." Roared the Orange Cat with raging evil.

The Orange Cat then grabbed the Elcor baby and threw it off a cliff.

"NOOOOOOO." Cried the Elcor mother with crying.

"Remember my name, it is GARFIELD, a name of EVIL. HAHAHAHAHA." Shouted the Orange Cat as he drove off into the Desert sun with evil deeds to be doing.

Meanwhile elsewheres on New Earth Garfield was waking up from slumber with Liara T'Soni.

"Garfield can you not stay longer. There is so much loving to be made." Asked Liara T'Soni with wanting.

"No I must go. I must find Saren he has Normany. I must face him and get it back." Garfield said with determination.

"You are braver man than no other. I will remember our loving for it was like heaven shattering my pants." Liara T'soni said with truth.

Garfield went outside and joined Garrus and Miranda.

"Garfield are you ready or are you needing more "sleep"(sex)?" Garrus asked with jolly joking.

"Oh Garrus you kidder. You are old dog." Garfield said with paling around.

"But enough kiddings we must find Saren and get the Normany." Garrus said with seriousness.

"Yes let us go north for I smell evil there. Saren is there no doubt." Garfield Ordered with leadership.

So Garfield Garrus and Miranda marched north with new purposes. Determined to avenge their fallen friend Tali and set wrongs to right. While marching sand blew in their faces and Miranda and Garrus were bothered.

"Ewwww sand." Moaned Miranda with complaining.

"Do not worry woman I will shield you with iron muscle." Garfield responded with courage.

"Thank you Garfield you are my hero. I love you always." Miranda said to him with heartfeltness.

Garfield Garrus and Miranda then marched on. As they marched they soon saw village in the distance.

"Look Garfield let us go and see if villagers know Sarens whereabouts." Said Garrus with ideas.

"Yes let us collect information like private eyes." Garfield said with detective work.

When they entered the village angry villagers suddenly surrounded them with pitchforks and torches.

"IT IS GARFIELD THE EVIL ONE. GET HIM." Shouted the Villagers with crazed rantings.

"What is this? They have gone mad with crazy!" Yelled Garrus with panic.

"WE WILL GET YOU GARFIELD. TIME FOR SMALL TOWN JUSTICE." Screamed the villagers with anger filled voices.

"ENOUGH OF THIS MADDNESS." Garfield roared as he back handed the poor misguided villagers into unconsciousness probably not killing them.

"What was that? " Miranda wondered with nervousness.

"I do not know. I am great hero why do they greet me like vile villain?" Wondered Garfield with uncertainty.

As Garfield pondered meanings of happenings he sensed a presence with his Garfield sense.

"We are followed." Garfield said with certainty.

All of a sudden a shot rang out from distance. A bullet charged at Garfield with full force and Maximum Speed but Garfield caught it in his mighty hand and crushed the bullet into dust and then threw it on the ground.

"Impressive Garfield. You are man like no other and opponent of worthiness" Said a mysterious voice from shadows.

A green man jumped out from bushes ready for fighting.

"I am Thane the assassin and I must take you down for your evils." The green man said with silent voice.

"Evils what nonsense you speak. I am hero." Garfield roared with response.

"Garfield is senseless killer of children and doer of evil. He must be stopped." Thane said with serious face.

"This is impossible. Garfield would never kill children without reason." Garrus said with shock.

"It is true he is murdering fiend. Now prepare to meet justice!" Thane whispered with assassin words.

"The only justice I serve is my own now come at me string bean!" Challenged Garfield with fighting spirit.

Thane charged Garfield with thunder speed rearing for killing strike but Garfield stepped aside and tripped him.

"IMPOSSIBLE." Thane shouted in shock.

Garfield then picked up thane and punched him 4 and a half times.

"I am innocent man. Do you believe my words now?" Said Garfield with strength.

"Yes though I am skeptical of words your fists speak the truth." Thane said believing Garfields words and fists

"Good but if I am innocent who is the doer of evil?" Asked Garfield with questions.

"I must find real culprit and bring them to justice." Thane said getting himself up.

"I will go with you. I will clear my name like eraser of fighting fury." Garfield declared with justice swelling inside him like expanding lasagna meal eaten after midnight.

Garfield and comrades searched the village for clues.

"Garfield I have found things! Over here!" Yelled Thane with discovery.

"HMMM Motorcycle tracks. Let us follow them to destiny." Garfield ordered with authority.

Garfield and his friends followed tracks to their destination. Finally they came to a mountain cave where the mysterious muscular orange cat with different colored eyes awaited them.

"Haha Garfield I have been waiting for you. Now I will destroy you once and for all and show you what is a true man." Said the figure with mockery.

"NERMAL!" Shouted Garfield with shock and awe.

"That is right Garfield. After all these years I have waited for revenge and now it is mine. I have painted myself orange to pose as you and frame you for evils. Now your good name is smudged with ink of blood!" Declared Nermal with sinister sayings.

"I will clear my name! I will have your head as proof of innocence!" Roared Garfield with vengeance.

"Haha Garfield but I have set you a trap! Soon you will be gone and galaxy will be my clam and the universe will be my lobster! Get him rachni!" Shouted Nermal with viciousness as he sent Rachni minions to fight Garfield.

Rachni soldiers swarmed and attacked Garfield with relentless swarming, but Garfield was ready.

"I have two full cans of bug spray ready for using." Garfield quipped as he took out his two Desert Eagles and began firing into bugs making them mushing bug goo.

"I am the exterminator. Time to be breaking out the insecticide." Garfield shouted as he tossed as grenade into more Rachni blowing them up into more goo.

After wiping out Rachni scum, Nermal stood alone in defiance.

"Not bad Garfield but you will be among the dead! Face my insectimight!" Nermal shouted as he hopped on a Rachni Queen.

Nermal rode the Rachni queen and destroyed all in his wicked paths cornering Garfield and company against wall.

"I AM KING." Nermal shouted from his lounges.

"Nermal, you bug me." Garfield said as he shot a stalagmite on ceiling causing it to fall on Nermal impaling him on floor.

Garfield walked towards Nermal with manly footsteps ready to administer justice like judge of peace.

"Curse you Garfield. You may have won but you can not defeat Odie, he is too powerful for you. I will save a spot for you in hell!" Nermal spat with contempt.

"Make sure it is near the kitchen." Garfield quipped as he finished Nermal off with one mighty shot to the heart.

Garfield then ripped off Nermals head with mighty arms and put it on a stick for proof of innocence.

"Let us return to village and proof my innocence!" Garfield said with Nermals head on stick in his hand.

Garfield and the others returned to village with Nermals head and all rejoiced.

"THIS IS YOUR MURDERER." Shouted Garfield raising Nermals head high for all to see.

"YAAAAAY." Cheered the villagers in celebration.

"Garfield you are true hero and true man. I owe you my life, I have life debt to you. I will help you in fight against Reapers." Thane said to Garfield with meaningful voice.

"Thank you. You are welcome in my army of justice." Garfield said while shaking Thanes hand.

Garfield went to quiet corner of village to be in solitude and enjoy Lasagna meal in peace. Suddenly a figure approached him. It was the Rachni Queen!

"Garfield I thank you for freeing me of Nermals evil controls. You have saved me and all Rachni." The Rachni Queen said with gratitude.

"No problem sugar shell. Doing good is what I do among other things." Garfield said with a wink.

"Garfield as I saw you fight I felt things never felt before. You make feel like woman liberated." Said the Rachni queen with infatuation of Garfield.

"What you feel is just the beginning. Let me take you on a journey of love, destination: pleasure." Garfield said with romancing words.

"Oh Garfield, even though I am royalty I have never felt true love. Please take me now!" The Rachni Queen yelled with desire.

"I will steal your crown jewels." Garfield said as he embraced the Rachni Queen with his muscular arms and began pumping her full of love.

Garfield pleasured the Rachni Queens body all over. He massaged her smooth sexy body with his strong hands as he thrust pleasure into her like a jackhammer of love. The echoes of their hard loud love makings could be heard from all in the village and all knew that the night belonged to love.

To be continued…


	16. Chapter 16

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 16 Rock Off!

Authors Note: Hello thank you for reading my story! This story has special musical segment and I encourage you all to sing along! I worked hard on it and I hope you like it! Thank you and I hope you enjoy my story!

Garfield was waking up next to Rachni Queen after nights of long lovin.

"Garfield please stay and I can make you my king and we can rule lands of Rachni together." Whispered Rachni Queen with loving tongues.

"No my bug boots I can not. Galaxy depends on me. I must find Normany and fight Odie and the reapers or else Galaxy will fall into his paws of chaos." Garfield said as he got dressed for adventure.

"Garfield remember you always have place with Rachni. If you return I make you my prime minister of love." Said the Rachni Queen as she waved farewells to Garfield with lonesome eyes.

Garfield left the beds of his lover woman and entered outside to meet with squad mates to embark on grand journey.

"Garfield we must find Saren and reclaim Normany or else all is lost." Cried Miranda with losing hope.

"Yes woman but we do not know where to begin are searching." Said Garrus with frustration.

"It is all helpless." Sighed Miranda.

"Worry not Freckle Face. I can smell Normanys from galaxies away. It is north east. Now move your feet or be disciplined." Garfield roared with orders.

Garfield and loyal squad mates traveled northeast in search of Normany. They walked long and hard but Garfield felt no tiredness. Determinations was in his heart and powered his feet. He knew if reapers won there would be galaxy without love and lasagna and he could not allow such evil. After much walkings Garfield and his squad came upon village of people. People huddled in fear of sorrow as they cried the tears of lost hope.

"What is matter with you people why do you cry your tears?" Asked Garfield with questions.

"Oh hero Garfield it is of terrible. Our women they have been taken." Cried the villagers in sadness.

"WHAT." Garfield gasped in shocking horror.

"Blue Suns have kidnapped all women and took them away for slaves." Said villager with depression.

"Blue Suns! They have no limit!" Garfield roared with anger.

"Video Santiago is king of all Blue Suns and mastermind of kidnappings. He also kidnapped girl named Oriana and fell in love. Now he is forcing her to marriage." Said villager with information.

"NO. MY TWIN." Said Miranda with shock.

"What is this madness?" Garfield asked with questions.

"I have twin sister. She was hiding but now she is kidnapped." Said Miranda with panic.

"This evils must be put to a stop. Women are like lasagna, precious and should never be kidnapped." Garfield declared with heroic stance.

"Thank you for the helping Garfield. You are true hero. But we must hurry before marriage." Miranda said with rushing words.

Meanwhile in Video Santiago's Blue Suns fortress on New Earth, Video Santiago was talking with courtship to Oriana.

"Oriana soon you will be my wife and I will have you every night in my bed." Said Video Santiago with lustful evil.

"NO I will never marry you fiend." Said Oriana with woman slapping.

"You are wench! I will teach you lessons of love!" Yelled Video Santiago with fist ready for hurting.

Then Video Santiago's large television screen turned on and Odie appeared on it full of dark evil.

"Video Santiago as much as I love sight of evil deeds but I must be interrupting for I am impatient dog." Odie said with vile laugh.

"Yes Master Odie I am sorry for my bad manners." Said Video Santiago with cowering.

"Is shipment of hot sexy ladies on time? I must spread my seed throughout galaxy to spread evil and destroy humanity." Odie asked with evil questions.

"Yes sexy ladies will be shipped to you soon. Soon all sorts of lovely women will be at your choosing." Video Santiago answered with fear.

"I hope your words are correct for your sakes. Or else my fist of dark wrath will be on you." Odie Snarled with darkness.

With words Odie then disappeared from screen.

"I must send my enslaved bikini babes to Odie immediately!" Declared Video Santiago with soul of corruption.

"You will never succeed in plans. My sister will come for me." Said Oriana with courage.

"Stupid girl you will learn to be loving me. Tonight we will have rock off battle of the bands. Then you will marry me my spicy cupcake." Laughed Video Santiago with bile.

Meanwhile Garfield and squad mates where traveling to Video Santiago's Blue Suns fortress where sexy hot women were being kept prisoner. After hard traveling Garfield and squad reached fortress where they saw Dr. Mordin Solus and Grunt with another man.

"Garfield! It is good to be seeing you again." Said Grunt with joyousness.

"Garfield I have been missing you. Without you we are lost and useless." Said Dr. Mordin Solus with truth.

Garfield shook hands with his comrades and then approached new mystery man.

"I have heard you Garfield you are galaxies greatest champion, and true man." Said the mystery man with mysterious whisper.

"Yes it is true now who are you?" Asked Garfield with wonderance.

"It is I Kaiden Alenko." Said Kaiden Alenko with revelations.

"I thought you have been dead?" Wondered Garfield.

"No I have survived." Answered Kaiden Alenko with corrections.

"What is everyone doing out here?" Asked Garrus.

"It is tragic story, sexy honey women have been taken prisoner. Video Santiago is holding battle of the bands inside and the only way inside is to form a band yet we do not have enough members." Cried Grunt with grief in heart.

"Now you do. Let us rehearse." Said Garfield ready to rock.

Garfield and squad went into a garage to practice rocking. Garfield was singer, Garrus was on lead guitar, Thane was on back up guitar, Kaiden Alenko was on Bass, Dr. Mordin Solus was playing keyboard Grunt played drums and Miranda was the groupie. After a few minutes they were ready to rock and roll heavy metal style.

"We are band ready for musical playing." Said Garfield with confidence.

Garfield and the his band then went to enter battle of the bands for serious rocking. They suited their outfits up. Garfield wore cool leather jacket with studs and spikes. Garrus wore tank top with torn jeans and his guitar was shaped like a space ship. Dr. Mordin Solus wore bright red colored suit and wore an earring. Kaiden Alenko wore leopard skin tights, Grunt wore panda stripes and Miranda wore bikini top and tight sexy leather skirt. They entered the stadium for rocking concert. It was filled with Blue Suns audience. Sexy hot ladies were trapped in cages while Video Santiago looked on from his throne where Oriana was chained.

"Is it time for rocking?" Asked Dr. Mordin Solus with eagerness.

"No another band is playing." Answered Garfield with facts.

The other band was playing mediocrely and not rocking out at all. Blue Suns audience booed them and threw things at them.

"You are not rockers but sockers. Now be gone." Dismissed Video Santiago as he pressed a switch which open a pit of fire underneath the pathetic band to their demises.

It was time for Garfield and all was pumped. The announcer announced Garfield and all began to cheer.

"Next up is Garfield and the Galaxy Warriors playing their hit smash single "Desperate Lasagna Woman"!" announced the announcer with great excitement.

Garfield and his band came to stage when laser lights and pyrotechnics blasted in the stage causing great cheers. Grunt started an awesome beat and Dr. Mordin Solus did a cool keyboard intro. Then Garfield pointing at Oriana, roared with awesome metal vocals causing earthquakes and hurricanes.

"Girl with eyes I see you glancing my way girl Hop in my Corvette I will take you for a whirl

Hotter than lasagna walkin in the moonlight

Babe you making me so hungry just for a bite

DESPERATE LASAGANA WOMAN

Like wheels on runaway jet plane

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Girl you drivin me insane

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Body Smooth and tight like Great Dane

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Baby why you give me heart pain

Sweet sugar, for good times space is the place to be

Take a ride on my space rocket and you will see

Baby girl do not fear my lovin, it was meant to be

Breaking beds all night is our destiny

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Alone, no man, such a crime

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

With law in my pants I make you do time

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Girl I want no more of your lies

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

All I want to do is lick your thighs"

Garrus then broke into a rockin guitar solo wailing on his axe like a banshee in heat. Garrus shredding rocked the stadium and the audience threw clothes and flowers and threw their fists into the air, getting into the music. Than the band quieted down little getting into soft meaningful part of song when Garfield again began to sing with meaning.

"Desperate lasagna woman what is your game?

Do you want love or do you want fame?

You are pleasure and you are pain

You have my heart locked in chain

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Sassy lady you make me stare

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Your breasts I want to see bare

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

Hot momma taunting me

DESPERATE LASAGNA WOMAN

In your pants I want to be

After rockin music performance the audience went crazy throwing hands in the air and chanting for more. Even Video Santiago was impressed and tapped his foot to music and clapping his hands.

"Amazing you are musical genius! Please play more!" Begged Video Santiago with impressments.

Garfield took a guitar and aimed it at Video Santiago with determined eyes.

"Here is my encore!" Quipped Garfield as he launched a missile from the guitar at Video Santiago blowing him up and freeing Oriana.

"That is what I call power chords." Joked Garfield with humor.

Blue suns began rioting and causing havoc with their leader blown up.

"Turn on your instruments to kill!" Garfield ordered to his band mates.

At Garfield's orders, Garrus Thane and Kaiden Alenko turned their instruments to gun mode and began firing away at Blue Suns, mowing them down with extreme prejudice. Dr. Mordin Solus than began using his keyboard to detonate explosive bombings around the stadium, exploding many Blue Suns. In the madness and chaos Garfield ran to Oriana mowing down Blue Suns all the way, however a Blue Sun was cornering Oriana against wall.

"Stupid woman you will not get away!" roared Blue Sun.

"Back away help me please!" Cried out Oriana.

Garfield rushed at Blue Sun and smashed him in head with his guitar splattering his head all over like a watermelon.

"That is the power of rock." Garfield said as he spat on blue Suns corpse.

"Thank you Garfield you saved me." Said Oriana with gratitude.

"It is no problem I hate to see beautiful woman not in my arms." Garfield carrying Oriana and taking her to safety.

"Oriana! Thank you Garfield you are forever my hero." Said Miranda embracing her sister.

"I like seeing ladies together." Said Garfield with clever wink.

With Blue Suns gone, Garfield and crew freed sexy ladies and returned them to their village. When Garfield and his squad returned to the village there was great celebration and dancing. Garfield sat alone meditating in a corner, to recharge his fighting spirit. Oriana saw Garfield and approached him.

"Garfield I have been rude girl, not thanking you properly." Said Oriana.

"I think I know way you can thank me properly. But you have to work hard not to disappoint me." Said Garfield with lustful smile.

"I am overachiever." Said Oriana with seduction.

"I will give you the loving you never had but always wanted." Garfield said grabbing Orianas firm bodies.

"Wait now lil sis, we always do every together, remember?" Said an approaching voice. It was Miranda!

"Oriana yes let us make this family reunion to remember big sis." Oriana said with happiness.

"Two for one loving that is my kind of deal." Garfield said with approval.

The twin ladies began pleasuring Garfield and eachother, kissing and licking them all over. Garfield then got between the both of them, rockin both their worlds at same time.

"Lady sandwich, my second favorite food." Garfield said with clever comments as he and the ladies made delicious loving. Garfields loving launched like a missile and made the ladies explode with pleasure. (symbolic)

"Garfield you are rock star both on stage and in bed." Said Oriana as he rubbed Garfields toned muscles.

"Oh I am just beginning. I am going to give you a guitar solo you can never forget." Said Garfield as he embraces Oriana and Miranda. Garfield then unleashed his instrument and made rockin music with his ladies all night long.

To be continued…


	17. Chapter 17

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 17 Saren Appears!

Garfield was getting up from a long night of love making with Miranda and Oriana when he knew it was time for adventure to begin once more.

"Sister twister is one of my favorite games." Said Garfield with satisfaction.

"Garfield can we not stay in for more love. I want you to give me your power and stuff me like a Christmas turkey." (holiday joke) said Oriana with whimsical.

"No I must find Normany and save galaxy." Said Garfield as Miranda and Oriana massaged his feet.

"Garfield is right we must go get Normany, Galaxy is at stake. "Said Miranda with agreement.

"You only want Garfield for yourself." Said Oriana with sisterly teasing.

"Oh you." Said Miranda with teasing back.

Garfield got dressed and got all his guns ready because justice was on his mind.

"I hope Saren hired a DJ because it is going to be one hell of a party." Garfield said as he pumped his rifle.

Garfield went outside where townspeople were waiting to say goodbye.

"Garfield we thank you for your help in saving our sexy women. In thanks we give you this horse to ride desert wastes with ease." Said the townspeople as they pointed to massive black stallion with fiery eyes.

"This is horse is like me. Raging with virility and hungry for vengeance. I will name him Thor Blasthoof." Garfield said as he boarded the horse.

"Head east, that is where Saren is." Said the villagers.

"Thank you. Soon I will have Normany in my hands and Sarens head under my boot." Said Garfield as his eyes glowed in shining sun.

Garfield and his squad then rode off in Search of Saren to reclaim Normany for justice for all.

Meanwhile in the Citadel, the council was discussing issue of importance when they were interrupted by a message from an evil figure on their big screen television.

"Greetings Citadel councilman it is I your new master." Said the figure with evil words.

It was Odie! Odie was filled with malice and darkness and hatred.

"What is meaning of this!" Cried out the Citadel Council in protest.

"You will declare me ruler of Galaxy and give me all of your sexy hot women or else I will unleash my reapers on you." Declared Odie with sinister snarl.

"No never we will never be beaten by you. Garfield will stop your evil ways!" Responded the Citadel Council with anger.

"Hahahaha Garfield has eaten his last Lasagna. Your hope is dead like a seal in my jaws of oppression." Gafawd Odie with evil as he sipped on the tears of orphans from his champagne glass.

"Oh Garfield please be living, you are our last hope." Said Citadel Council with mournful tears.

Meanwhile in desert sands of New Earth, Garfield was riding on his black steed alongside his squadmates.

"Garfield I am tired will we ever find Saren?" Whined Miranda with moaning.

"Silence woman. You are not allowed to moan unless I am making you." Said Garfield with authority.

"Oh Garfield I wish you would make me moan right now. I need recharging." Miranda flirted with sexiness.

"Later pussycat. Duty before booty." Garfield said with knowing winks.

All of a sudden biker warriors ambushed!

"It is Sarens elite Guards!" Cried out Garrus with alarm.

"What will we do Garfield?" Cried out Miranda with worrying.

"Worry not my girly pet. I have the plans under control." Said Garfield with calm cool as he pressed a button on his black stallion turning it into a motorcycle.

"Now that is what I call horsepower." Said Garfield with cool comments as he revved his engine.

Garfield sped on his motorcycle doing awesome stunts like hot shot cat. He did a wheeling and a backflip and did not even wear a helmet.

"WOW." Said Sarens elite guard with awe and fear.

"And now for my encores. Do not being getting up for clapping." Garfield exclaimed as he took out his exploding crossbow.

"Cross your hearts hope to DIE." Garfield roared as he shot arrows of explosion from his exploding crossbow at the guards, exploding their hearts.

"Our hearts have exploded!" Cried Sarens Elite Guards as their hearts exploded their last beat.

"Enough of these small fries. I am hungry for main course. Saren stew with side of lasagna." Garfield said with triumph as he sped to Sarens City Fortress.

As Garfield and squad entered Saren City they saw many buildings and people. Garfield saw a man with information and asked him the questions.

"Where is Saren?" Asked Garfield.

"I will never tell you these things for I am loyal to Saren. For he is the only king." Said the fool with stupidity.

"Very well I will take the moral high road." Said Garfield with great wit has he took the man to the roof of a building and dangled him by his neck.

"Now you will sing like a bird or you will swim like one." Said Garfield holding man with intensity.

"You win Garfield he is in the center of city." Said the man with apologetics.

"Thank you, I will show you my gratitude by giving you a one way trip to hell." Said Garfield as he dropped the stupid man down the building.

"I am coming for you SAREN!" Garfield shouted to the sky.

Garfield and his squad then went to the center of city where Sarens castle was. There was a large gate there with locks and iron bars and force fields.

"Open sesame." Garfield said punching down the door with his mighty fist.

"Knock nock Saren. I am here for my Normany and your beating heart. It will melt in my hand like frozen lasagna in the microwave." Garfield raged as he entered castle.

In the Castle was Saren waiting, sitting on his throne wearing leather and spikes. Matriarch Benezia was sitting on his lap, wearing tight leather and stroking his face.

"Haha Garfield I have been waiting for you. You will never get Normany back it is mine. You are not worthy to have it." Saren said with loud voice.

"That is right Garfield. Saren is only one man enough to have Normany." Said Matriarch Benezia as she licked Sarens face.

Garfield made eyes with Matriarch Benezia and gave her the sex gaze. Matriarch Benezia batted her eyes and blushed at Garfields sexy eyes.

"Hey babycakes. Ditch that dud and get with a stud." Said Garfield while winking and flexing his muscles.

Matriarch Benezia nearly fainted at Garfields manly words and poses. Saren was angered by Garfields superior manliness.

"Enough I am true king of this world and only man!" Declared Saren with arrogant voice.

"You are king of rats and fools now return Normany and I may kill you without pain." Garfield said with mercy.

"Very well Garfield, prove your manliness and you may have Normany. We shall settle this only way true men can." Said Saren with thoughtfulness.

"RACEOFF." Said Saren and Garfield at same time.

"This is right. Tomorrow morning we will have no holds barred race off. The real man gets the Normany. You may stay here for the night." Said Saren with confidence.

"Very well, I will be seeing you on the road of battle." Garfield responded.

"Take him to his room!" Ordered Saren to his guards.

"I find my own rooms." Said Garfield as he pushed down the guards and claimed biggest room in the building.

Later that night Garfield was lifting weights while jamming to some hot tunes.

"Time to load my guns." Said Garfield as he lifted his dumbbell with muscle power.

As Garfield pumped the irons, a sexy figure entered his room. It was Matriarch Benezia.

"Garfield I can not stop thinking about you. You are always inside my mind. Now I want you inside my body." Said Matriarch Benezia with obsession.

"It will be my pleasure. Take a ride on my rollercoaster of love. But I am warning. Once you stop you may never want to stop." Garfield said grabbing her hands.

"Oh Garfield you are such man. But you must not race Saren it is too dangerous." Matriarch Benezia said full of worry.

"Do not worry your little face my green stringbean. I drive cars like I handle women. Fast and furious." Garfield said with soothing words.

"I am a skilled driver myself. I am especially good at driving stick." Said Matriarch Benezia with sexy whispers as he grabbed Garfield all over.

"Slam me into gear but remember, once you ride my highway there is no braking." Garfield whispered back with flirtations.

Matriarch Benezia grabbed Garfield and pushed him on the bed. She climbed on top of him and squeezed him with tight toned thighs.

"You need a polishing. Allow me to help." Said Matriarch Benezia as she rubbed her hands on Garfields muscular body.

"I am going to crash into you. I hope you have love insurance." Said Garfield as he thrust his manly body into Matriarch Benezia.

Garfield and Matriarch Benezia rubbed their bodies and made sweet powerful loving all night long and into the break of dawn. When morning came Garfield prepared for race of his life.

"Garfield please be careful. I can not bare to lose you. You have taught me so much and I have so much more to learn." Said Matriarch Benezia with longing.

"It will be nothing. When I get back wear something nice for me like whip cream bikini." Said Garfield with a wink as he left room to meet Saren on the race track.

Garfield walked to the race track which had lots of obstacles and circled around a volcano. Many people were watching and cheering. Garfields squad was on sides cheering on their hero. Suddenly he saw Saren pull up in a black Jaguar.

"Hey Garfield check out my hot wheels." Said Saren with boasting.

Garfield looked on with modest approving.

"Not bad but my new ride will burn a hole in the road." Garfield said whistling.

As Garfield whistled as super cool car came from the horizon. It was a shining silver Maserati with flaming lasagnas airbrushed on each side. Sarens jaw dropped when he saw such a smokin hot ride.

"Now here is a mans car." Said Garfield with cool style as he hopped into his car.

"Well Garfield you might have the wheels but do you have guts to use them?" Challenged Saren with intimidation.

"Silence your words or I will show you your own guts." Responded Garfield with dismissal.

The race was about to begin and all were excited and on edge of their seats.

"Garfield you can do it we are relying on you." Said Dr. Mordin Solus with inspiration.

"Garfield please come back safely." Cried Miranda with worry as tears rolled down her cheeks.

With a shot of a gun the race started and Saren and Garfield sped in their cars at maximum speed. Garfield put on some Motörhead to pump him up for driving.

"I am the wind. Faster than light stronger than brick." Said Garfield as he sped off in his Silver Maserati.

Garfield and Saren raced neck and neck along the track. They sped up the mountain and were close to edge and were full of danger. They were both driving like pros and race was tight like a sock on a horse.

"Eat my tires." Said Saren with wise guy remarks as he sped up in front of Garfield.

Oh no Saren is winning!" Said Jacob with panic.

"Come on Garfield, you taught me to overcome all challenges with manly strength. I know you can do it." Cheered on Garrus from sideline.

Garfield heard the cheers of his friends and it filled his fear with the courage to win all obstacles.

"Suck on my tailpipe and choke." Said Garfield as he sped forward with speed of an angry boar with his awesome driving.

Garfield was far in lead now and all hope looked lost for Saren. But Saren was a dirty man with dirty tricks.

"I will win at all cost. Prepare to f ace losing lane." Said Saren as he pushed the jump button on his Jaguar causing it to jump in the air ahead of Garfield.

"Curse you swindling swine!" Shouted Garfield with fury.

Saren rushed ahead and over a bridge. When past the bridge Saren cut down bridge with scissors.

"Haha Garfield you can never catch up. I will be winner forever!" Said Saren with cheating as he drove away.

Saren was sure confident of his winning. Nothing would stand in his way.

"Normany is mine forever. Garfield is fool for challenging me!" Thought Saren to himself with delusion.

Then all of a sudden in the distance, a manly orange figure rippling with muscles was standing with mighty vengeance. It was Garfield!

"How could it be?" Squealed Saren like dirty pig he was.

Garfield raised his mighty fist in the air charging it with power. He then smashed it into ground causing massive earthquake eruption making rocks and lava fall on Saren.

"Looks like you are off to a rocky finish." Quipped Garfield with cleverness as he calmly strolled to finish line to win race.

"Garfield is the winner! Here is the trophy of champions!" Declared umpire with congratulations

Garfield took the trophy and raised it in the air.

"Oh Garfield you have did it!" Cried out Miranda running to Garfield and grasping his leg.

"My hero." Said Matriarch Benezia with swooning.

Garfield stood like the man with ladies clinging to his legs while he held trophy in the air like a true champion. As Garfield was celebrating a figure came from the ashes and approached them. It was Saren!

"Garfield you have won. I am the loserman. You have proven yourself true champion and worthy of Normany. Here is keys of the Normany." Said Saren with apologetics.

"Saren you are worthy opponent and man but I am even better man." "Said Garfield taking the keys and grasping Sarens hand for shaking.

"Yes Garfield only you can defeat reapers. Goodbye true warrior." Saren said as he exploded.

Garfield took the keys and entered Normany. Inside was Joker sitting by pilot chair.

"Garfield you are back I am so glad." Said Joker with joyousness.

"That is right joke man. I am back like a yak. I hope you are ready for riding." Said Garfield as he high fived joker.

Garfield then headed back to the Captains Quarters to rest for more space adventure and prepare to fight reapers. As Garfield rested on his bed a sexy figure entered. It was Matriarch Benezia!

"Garfield you are truly a legend for all time. Your driving is second to none. But now I want you to drive me to paradise." Said Matriarch Benezia as she brushed her hand on Garfields manly cheek.

All of a sudden another figured entered the room. It was Liara T'soni!

"Mother you are alive I can not believe the happenings!" Cried out Liar T'Soni with shock.

"It is true I have life but have been dead inside, until I met Garfield. He has made me a woman anew." Said Matriarch Benezia with truth.

"Yes Garfield is a beefy man burger of galaxy proportions. But you are hogging all and I want a bite." Said Liara T'soni.

"Relax ladies, we can have mother daughter talks, in the bedroom." Garfield said as he took a lady in each arm and headed to the bedroom.

"Garfield you know just what to say." Said Liara T'soni.

"We are going to have mother daughter bonding." Said Garfield with suggestions.

"Yes we both want to bond with you, Garfield." Said Matriarch Benezia as she massaged Garfields muscular back.

"I take top you take bottom." Said Matriarch Benezia to Liara T'soni as they sandwiched Garfield with their hot sweaty bodies.

"Mush me ladies." Garfield said as all three of them mushed together in pile of sweaty sexy love. The three of them made powerful sweaty love for hours and hours rocking the Normany into nebula of desire.

To be continued…


	18. Chapter 18

Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure Part 18 Space Fortress Assault!

It was morning when Garfield woke with his ladies by his side. Liara T'soni was playing with Garfields ears and Matriarch Benezia was playing with his toes and sexy belly button. As ladies massaged his body Garfield laid back enjoying expensive wine with his lasagna meal.

"Garfield why must you fight, why can you not be staying with us here at this moment. We can hide away forever and enjoy the love of our bodies." Asked Liara T'soni with questions.

"Sorry Chicken pocks. I am a fighting man and the fighting man must fight for it is his fight alone." Said Garfield with determination.

"I understand your words but they make my heart cry." Said Matriarch Benezia with sad understanding.

"Do not cry heart tears my flour sack. After I save galaxy we will have a celebration of physical kind." Reassured Garfield with kindness.

"Garfield you know what to say to make comfort of me." Said Matriarch Benezia with comfort.

Garfield then stood up and walked to pilot room where Joker was sitting to give the orders.

"Joker it is time. Prepare Normany for space flight. Time to spread your wings and soar." Garfield said with encouragement.

"Garfield you taught me everything I know of piloting and what it means to be a man. You are like father I have never had." Joker said with tear in his eye.

"Yes dear joker and you are like son I never wanted. But enough sentimentalities. Now comes final test of manhood, are you ready?" Garfield asked with questions.

"Yes I am ready I will not fail you. Time for lifting off!" Declared Joker as he revved Normany motor and prepared for taking off.

Garrus then approaches Garfield for sentences filled with discussion.

"Garfield there is no turning back now are you ready for final battle?" Asked Garrus with meaning.

"I was born with lasagna in my mouth and gun in my hand. Bring on the hell of battle." Declared Garfield to all.

"Let us do it!" Shouted Garrus high fiving Garfield.

Miranda came to Garfield filled with worry and clenched his arm (which was full of muscle) tight.

"Garfield I am worried. I have premonition of tragedy." Miranda full of concern.

"Do not worry my delicious diva. The lies of Evil can not stand against my fist of truth." Said Garfield with certainty.

"Besides worry makes women fat and ugly." Said Garfield with joking as he slapped her behind.

"Oh Garfield you charm me like snake in a jar." Said Miranda with blushing.

"When we are done I will let my snake out of its jar." Said Garfield with flirtations.

"Garfield you make my mouth watering with hunger." Said Miranda with desire.

"Keep your appetites in check my sweets for now is time for mission." Said Garfield as he took command.

As Garfield sat at commander's throne he took out lasagna for enjoyment as ship began to move.

"Garfield you mad? Lasagna will spill in such crazy speed." Said Garrus in shock.

"No worry my cautious compadre. Behold." Said Garfield as he took out a marvelous device.

"What?" Said Garrus with questions.

"It is the gyrobowl. Look with wonder." Said Garfield as he took out lasagna and put it in.

As Normany sped at speed of sand and fury Lasagna stayed in bowl without spilling. It was miraculous to all.

"WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?" Exclaimed Garrus pointing at Gyrobowl.

"Relax your tensions. It is miracle of science and engineering." Said Garfield with reassurance.

"Yes I wish to study Gyrobowl for scientific discovery. It holds knowledge beyond my understanding." Said Dr. Mordin Solus examining gyrobowl with microscope.

"I must have gyrobowl for myself then I will not spill things anymore then at long last my dreams will come true." Thought Garrus to himself.

Garrus then went into daydream fantasy imagining himself inside a giant gyrobowl with countless hot ladies laughing and pleasuring eachother. But fantasy turned into nightmare as giant gyrobowl span out of control sending Garrus and ladies into hurricane. The gyrobowl then came to life and began devouring Garrus and the ladies.

"AHHHH." Screamed Garrus as he descended to madness of Gyrobowl nightmare.

Garfield grabbed Garrus by collar and slapped him with sense.

"Take hold of it man." Said Garfield slapping Garrus.

"I am sorry I was lost in a nightmare of spinning agony." Said Garrus sweating with nerves.

"Be careful do not let Gyrobowl consume your soul." Said Garfield with knowledge.

"You are wisdom." Said Garrus in admiration.

Garfield then sat back down and launched words from his mouth full of orders.

"Prepare to go in Omega Relay. This time no more playing nice!" Roared Garfield with triumph.

At Garfields orders Joker revved engine and sped Normany into Omega relay like a space dolphin on his last day on earth with no regrets. As Normany entered Omega relay all braced themselves for combat.

"Look!" Said Garrus pointing at approaching ship. It was Collector ship!

The collector ship approached with menacful flight looking to destroy all.

"What do we do?" Cried out Joker in panic.

"Fire the blasters!" Ordered Garfield without fear.

Normanys blaster cannons charged full of energy blasted the Collector ship but they were deflected!

"NO!" Cried out Miranda as he clung to Garfields manly figure for protection.

All of crew braced for worst as collector ship approached when suddenly all heard a familiar voice.

"AMAKOOOOOO."

It was Jon Arbuckle soaring through space with his element zero katana and his hair and cloak blowing in wind! Jon Arbuckle had rugged scar on left eye and grizzled stubble. Jon Arbuckle soared through the collector ship and slashed it in half with his element zero katana exploding it in pieces. Jon Arbuckle then came on board to Normany space ship to greet his old friend Garfield.

"Garfield it is good to be seeing you again after long years of time." Jon Arbuckle said embracing Garfields hand for shaking.

"Jon Arbuckle it is good to see your future face. Thank you for killing collectors, you are top notch space swordsman." Said Garfield with thanks.

"No problem Garfield nothing like sliced space ship and collector juice for healthy breakfast." Said Jon Arbuckle with wisecracks.

After destroying collector spaceship Normany pushed on further until they saw Odies space fortress.

"Land head for maximum impact!" Garfield said as he looked at space fortress with telescope like true captain.

With Garfields majestic words Normany smashed into the space fortress with power of Garfields women pleasing manhood. It was monster crash but all were alright.

"Normany is barely in one peace." Said Garrus with exasperation.

"Good thing I always use protection." Said Garfield cleverly.

Garfield and crew marched on into the Space Fortress to find Odie and put an end to his wicketry. Garfield then came across doorway. A voice with foreboding talked to them. It was Odie!

"Haha Garfield I knew you would be coming. If you wish to face me then enter my gauntlet of trials. Prepare to face a waking nightmare!" Odie cackled with evil.

"There will be no dreams in the sleep I will be sending you to!" Said Garfield with teeth clenched with anger.

"It is sure trap." Garrus warned with advice.

"Then let us trigger it." Garfield roared as he ran in.

Garfield and crew ran through hallways and encountered collector soldiers but they were not a match for his might. Garfield shot all collectors with his trusty Desert Eagles without blinking a sweat.

"Worms are best used for fishing not fighting." Scoffed Garfield at collectors as he blasted them to pieces.

Garfield and crew then came to large open room. Odie was heard again with voice of taunting.

"Garfield you may have warrior spirit but can even a real man such as yourself face friend?" Taunted Odie with vile.

"Silence your nonsense and face me like man!" Garfield responded with manliness.

In distance Garfield and crew saw strange figure. It approached them slowly and looked familiar but strange. It was the Tali-Chimera! The beast had head and torso of Tali but also heads of lion and bull and unicorn. She had legs of a dinosaur and her arms where snakes.

"Tali you have looked better." Garfield said with truth.

"Garfield, Odie has brought me back from death but has turned me into hideous monster." Cried the Tali-Chimera.

"What fiendery!" Garfield said with anger.

"Garfield you must end my misery. Only by your manly hands may I find pieces of mind." Tali-Chimera said with sadness.

"If there is no other way." Sighed Garfield with resignation.

"I have but one favor asking of you. May I please feel the awesome power of your loving one more time?" Tali-Chimera asked with favors.

"No problem my doomed dame. My manhood makes pain into pleasure." Garfield said as he embraced Tali-Chimera for romancing.

Garfield and Tali-Chimera grabbed eachothers sweaty sexy bodies and rubbed into eachother like sand on paper.

"Garfield I hope my snakes do not frighten you." Said Tali-Chimera to Garfield.

"Those snakes are not a thing. I have a true serpent here but its bite only brings pleasure." Whispered Garfield with sexiness as he took off his pants.

Tali-Chimera then preformed oral love on Garfield doing what women do best for their man.

"Garfield I hope I can satisfy your hunger." Tali-Chimera said with wanting.

"My appetites are always hungry. This is but appetizer, time for the main course." Said Garfield as he grabbed Tali-Chimera and threw her on a bed for body rocking.

Garfield and Tali-Chimera wrapped their bodies together like vines of love entwined with passion. Garfield thrust into Tali-Chimera smashing into her with his manliness like a jackhammer of love.

"Ohhh MY." Screamed Tali-Chimera as Garfield gave her new definitions of pleasure.

Tali-Chimaeras senses exploded from Garfields bedroom prowess which had stamina and power of Olympic athlete and delicate sensibility of renaissance artist.

"Garfield you have given me my dream of sexual satisfaction" Tali-Chimera said exhausted and satisfied from Garfields love giving.

The majestic power of Garfields sex made Tali-Chimera disappear into magic mist sending her to a better place.

"Farewell Tali, I will avenge you." Garfield said with determination.

"Come we must go." Said Garrus to Garfield put his hand on his shoulder.

"There is a new dish to be served. Lasagna stuffed vengeance." Garfield said looking to the sky.

Garfield and crew then marched forward not looking back because they knew the future waits for no ones. After much walking with feet on ground they came to new room and once again hear menacing voice of the arch villain himself.

"Haha Garfield you have killed a friend but can you destroy what is most precious in this world?" Taunted Odie with bile.

At Odies taunts a fearsome monster came forward. It was lasagna husk created through reaper technology!

"You monster!" Roared Garfield with teeth clenched.

The lasagna husk approached Garfield as he was filled with psychological torment.

"Garfield you must destroy lasagna husk, it is only way." Said Jon Arbuckle with assurance.

With heavy weight on his heart Garfield filled his Desert Eagle with explosion bullet and raised it with aiming at Lasagna Husk.

"You should be delicious feast but instead you are destructive beast. Go to hell and rest in the Devils stomach." Garfield said as he shot one bullet which sped with single minded speed into Lasagna husks heart, exploding it.

Garfield stood in silence as one manly tear ran down his cheek.

"Such waste of delicious lasagna. Villains must pay." Garfield whispered with angry clarity.

Garfield gathered himself and knew that evil must not be allowed to live when it defiles heavens greatest gift to man.

"We will have moment of silence for lost lasagna." Ordered Garfield to his crew.

With Garfields orders, entire crew bowed their heads in respect for the fallen lasagna that could not be saved. After the touching moment Garfield braced himself with new found fury.

"There is no time for tears. Justice is burning in my fists ready to explode." Garfield said with grave sternness.

While sadness loomed over them Garfield and crew moved onward. After more walking Garfield and his crew came to another large room with pit of magma. Over pit where two cages, one filled with bakers dozen of sexy hot ladies ready and willing, the other filled with innocent orphans crying with horror. The voice of evil then was heard again.

"Haha Garfield you have destroyed what is most precious to you, but now you must make diabolical choice. Which will you save? Sexy hot ladies or the innocent children?"  
Odie Exclaimed with malevolence.

"Choices are for cretins and cowards, real men take ALL." Garfield said with stolid conviction.

Garfield then took a rope and swung to the cage of sexy hot ladies and broke them free.

"Thank you Garfield we want to express our gratitude to you with our tight bodies." Said the Hot sexy ladies eager to taste Garfields firm and toned man meat.

"Sounds like a plan. But afterwards you will be thanking me." Garfield said with a wink.

He then grabbed their thighs with his manly legs and began to pump them full of love while continuing on to save the poor innocent orphans. With sexy hot ladies in tow receiving his loving Garfield swung to the orphans cage to break them free.

"Fear not crying Orphans. The hero has come." Garfield said as he picked them up and put them on his back.

Garfield then swung back to safety ground with Orphans cheering in joy and hot sexy ladies moaning in ecstasy. The orphans then got off of Garfields back and gave him thumbs up as he pleasured the hot sexy ladies with professional skill.

"Garfield you are my hero I want to be like you." Said the orphans with admiration of Garfield.

"You better watch and take notes if you want to grow up to be strong men." Said Garfield as he finished satisfying the hot sexy ladies. Although he could go on for much longer they were worn out from his love givings.

"Thank you Garfield for saving our lives and for opening our eyes to new worlds." Said the hot sexy ladies with goodbyes.

"No problem. To ladies I give pleasure but to villains I give pain. Now it is time for the pain." Garfield said as he waved farewell to the hot sexy ladies and steeled himself for challenges ahead.

Garfield and crew marched on further into dastardly gauntlet until they came to another large room. In it they saw a figure in the shadows approach them that was familiar but different. It was Nermal! However this time his body was full of scars and cyber machinery.

"Haha Garfield it is good to see you again on this day which will be your last." Laughed Nermal with haughtiness.

"Nermal you should be in hell rotting an early grave." Said Garfield with disgust.

"It is being true you have killed me before but Odie has brought me back from abyss of death and gave me new life and made me new cat. I am not man you once knew I am become Cyber Nermal X!" Said Cyber Nermal X with newfounding fury.

"A cockroach with a suit and tie is still a cockroach." Said Garfield with contempt.

"Be stilling your mouth! I will be tasting your blood and then you will regret those words!" Roared Cyber Nermal X with blood boiling.

"The only blood you will be tasting is your own." Said Garfield as he cracked his knuckles preparing for combat.

"DIE NOW." Shouted Cyber Nermal X as his cyber arms turned to laser cannons and shot at Garfield.

Garfield dodged lasers with swift cat acrobatics and charged Cyber Nermal X for close combat collision. They grappled eachother for stalemate.

"Taste some of the pain you have made me feel!" Said Cyber Nermal X as he shot laser from his robo eye lasering Garfields manly shoulder.

"ARGHA." Gasped Garfield as he staggered back to a wall from dirty laser shot.

"Haha Garfield! I am the dentist and you have a cavity on your face! Time to give you an appointment to hell!" Said Cyber Nermal X as he turned his right cyber arm into giant drill and approached Garfield with menace.

Garfield was trapped against the wall but he felt no fear. As Nermal lunged drill arm at him, Garfield caught it and tore off the arm with mighty ease.

"It is time for your morning drill." Said Garfield wittily as he impaled Cyber Nermal X with his own cyber arm drill.

Garfield then tossed the impaled Cyber Nermal X aside and held his injured shoulder.

"Garfield are you ok are you hurt my beloved?" Cried out Miranda with worry.

"No need for weeping my munchy mistress. Just a little cold lasagna is all I need." Said Garfield as he took ice cold frozen lasagna and massaged his shoulder with it.

The healing power of lasagna soothed Garfields massive muscles but Miranda wanted in on the fun.

"Let me massage your wound with my tongue." Said Miranda with licking.

"I know you have special talent of that skill." Said Garfield with wink.

While Garfield and Miranda enjoyed their flirting they knew they had to finish battle of fate of humanity.

"Time to press this forward." Said Garfield like true war hero.

With Garfields brave words, they moved on further into sinister space fortress to put an end to the wars once and for all so that love can rule Galaxy again. Hallways of Odies Space Fortress were long and winding like creeping octopus in the grass. They were filled with bones and statues of gargoyles.

"The fortress is forever." Said Garrus with frustration.

"The hopes of children is on our backs. Let them fuel your energy." Garfield said with inspiration.

With Garfields wise inspirations they continued until they finally came to the lair of the demon himself. In the room was impaled bodies all over and a fountain of blood as sinister centerpiece. Odie was sitting on his throne cackling his evil.

"Garfield you have passed my trials now I will give you reward of eternal pain!" Said Odie as he feasted on flesh of baby seals.

"I will be having to return that reward in exchange for second prize, your head!" Garfield roared as he charged into combat.

Garfield ran to Odie to administer punishment of the beating kind but he fell into traps! Garfield triggered anti-lasagna force field with his feet.

"What is the tomfoolery?" Shouted Garfield with surprise.

"Haha you furry fool you have fell into my death trap! Now face frozen doom of space!" Yelled Odie in evil triumph as he pressed button which opened trap door under Garfield sending him into outer space. In Space Garfield fell into 12 black holes and a sun which caused a supernova.

"NOOOOOO." Cried out Miranda with tears as she fell to her knees in despair.

"Not even might of Garfield can survive that! Galaxy is mine forever! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Laughed Odie as hope seemed lost in pits of space.

"Garfield please come back." Said Garrus with solemn words as he held his head low.

The crew watched on in helplessness as Odie laughed his evil at his victories. Was Galaxy doomed to eternal evil? What will become of the humanity? These questions were asked in their minds and heads as they feared for all.

To be continued…

Authors Note: I am not being paid by Gyrobowl.


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